Leonid Filatov about Fedot. About Fedot the Sagittarius. Ivan Tsarevich and the Gray Wolf - Russian folk tale

Leonid Filatov

About Fedot-Sagittarius

Fairy tale for the theater (Based on Russian folklore)

Buffoon-amusement

Believe it or not, but Fedot the Sagittarius lived in this world, a daring fellow. Fedot was neither handsome nor ugly, neither ruddy, nor pale, neither rich nor poor, neither scabbed nor brocade, but just like that. Fedot's service includes fishing and hunting. To the Tsar - game and fish, to Fedot - thank you. Guests in the palace are like seeds in a cucumber. One is from Sweden, another from Greece, the third from Hawaii - and give everyone something to eat! One gets lobster, another gets squid, the third gets sardines, but there is only one earner! One day they give him an order: to appear at court at just light in the morning. The king looks like a morel, has a head as big as a fist, and there is an enormous amount of malice in him. He looks at Fedka like an ulcer man looks at a radish. Fedka's shirt got wet from fear, there was a pounding in his temples, a growling in his belly, and here, as they say, the beginning of a fairy tale...

Tsar

Come to us for morning pickle
The English ambassador arrived,
And in our house there are snacks -
Half a slice and a corn.

Get ready, brother, let's go
Bring us some food -
Capercaillie or partridge,
Al isho someone.

If you can't, who's to blame? –
I must execute you.
State business -
Are you catching the thread?..

Fedot

There's something I don't understand
In my mind?..
Tea, I slurp cabbage soup without bast shoes,
I'm figuring out what's what.

It turns out that it's on me
All politics in the country:
I won’t get a partridge -
There will certainly be war.

So that the English ambassador
I wasn’t angry from hunger -
I won't spare my head
I’ll provide the pickle!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king's word is harder than crackers. If he sends you to the bear, you will go to the bear, but where to go - you have to, Fedya! Or game and fish - or sword and rack. Fedot walked through a hundred forests, a hundred swamps, but all in vain - not a partridge, not a wood grouse! Tired, no urine, and it’s late at night. Even with an empty bag, it’s time to go home. Suddenly he sees a bird, a forest pigeon, sitting, not hiding, not afraid of a gun...

Fedot

This is misfortune, this is trouble,
There is no trace of game.
I'll shoot a pigeon
At least some kind of food!

But generally speaking,
Pigeons are scolded in vain.
Pigeon - if in gravy -
He is no worse than a wood grouse!..

Blueberry

You, Fedot, don’t touch me,
There is not a penny's benefit in this, -
And you can't fill the pan,
And you can't stuff the pillow.

Tea, overseas gentleman
Loves fresh galantine
What kind of meat is there in me?
So, no meat, just laughter!..

Fedot

Is the devil now zealous?
Is the air drunk now?
Maybe something happened in my ear?
What flaw do I have?

Either from the royal windows
Such a law was announced
For the birds to talk
In human language?..

Blueberry

Don’t commit robbery, Fedot,
And take me with you.
How will you bring me into the light
I will become your destiny.

I will sew, wash, cook,
Don’t reproach for insults,
And play the violin for you,
And kill the bugs for you!..

Fedot

What kind of parable is this - I don’t understand?..
Okay, get into my bag!..
There, on the spot, we'll figure it out,
Who's going where and what's what!

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot brought the little turtledove to his place, which means he went to the little mountain. He sits sadly, hanging his head. And there are serious reasons for the sadness. Our Fedot's hunt did not go well. But the tsar doesn’t like to joke - he’ll chop your head off right away. Fedot sits, sad, and says goodbye to the white light. I remembered about the bird, the forest pigeon. Lo and behold, in the middle of the hill, instead of that turtle dove, there stands a beautiful maiden, slender as a tree!..

Marusya

Hello, Fedya!.. You and me -
We are now one family.

I am your wife, Marusya,
I am your wife.

Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot,
How can you get water into your mouth?..
It’s not the same kokoshnik I’m wearing,
Is the outfit I’m wearing wrong?..

Fedot

To you, my soul,
A century would look without breathing,
Just to become your husband
There's no chance for me!..

I was there - just before dawn -
At a reception with the king,
Well, the king gave me a task
I mean, it means wood grouse.

Even though it’s not the season for game,
There is no reason to argue with the authorities:
Okay, I think I'll get it
Tea, capercaillie, not bison.

I walked all day
And good luck - at least a shadow:
Not a single serious bird
Everything is complete rubbish!..

And now, my dear friend,
No time for dancing on the meadow -
Tomorrow the king will take care of this matter
He'll chop my head off.

And I'm useless like that
Neither at work, nor at home,
Because my whole point
Exclusively in the mind!..

Marusya

Don't freak out and don't whine!
There will be a table and there will be game!
Well, stand in front of me,
Titus Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two strapping young men appear)

If you understand the order -
Do it now!

Well done

Don't hesitate,
Tea, this is not the first time!..

Buffoon-amusement

And the king and the ambassador are already sitting at the table. Nearby - look at that! - princess and nanny. And everyone is waiting for the promised food from Fedya. What's a conversation without a hearty lunch? And the table is empty: carrots and cabbage, dill and parsley - that’s the whole feast. The guest is bored, shakes his boots, examines the holes in the tablecloth. The Tsar is angry and does not notice how he calls Fedka after his mother. Suddenly, as if from heaven: a loaf of bread, a badey caviar, stewed turkey, sterlet fish soup, veal offal - and there are thousands of names for such food! With such food - how can there not be a conversation!..

Tsar

Causes antiresis
Your technical progress:
How do you sow rutabaga there?
With or without peel?..

Ambassador

Tsar

Causes antiresis
Your nutritional process:
How do they drink kakava there?
With or without saccharin?..

Ambassador

Tsar

Causes antiresis
And this is the cut:
How do your women walk there?
With or without trousers?

Ambassador

Nurse

I would have been embarrassed to even send an ambassador!..
Has his head completely weakened?..
No matter what they say -
Anything will lead to women!

Leonid Filatov

About Fedot the Sagittarius, a daring fellow

Dedicated to my wife Nina.

A fairy tale for the theater based on Russian folklore

Characters
Buffoon-Poster
Fedot
Marusya
Tsar
Princess
Nurse
General
Baba Yaga
Voice
Tit Kuzmich and
Frol Fomich (two stalwarts)
Ambassadors, guards, retinue, people

Buffoon-amusement

Believe it or not, but Fedot the Sagittarius lived in this world, a daring fellow. Fedot was neither handsome nor ugly, neither ruddy nor pale, neither rich nor poor, neither scabbed nor brocade, but so, in general. Fedot's service is fishing and hunting: to the king - game and fish, to Fedot - thanks. The guests in the palace are like seeds in a cucumber: this one is from Sweden, this one is from Greece, this one is from Hawaii, and give everyone something to eat! Entom - lobsters, entom - squid, entom - sardines, but there is only one earner! One day they give him an order: to appear at court at just light in the morning. The king looks like a morel, has a head as big as a fist, and there is an enormous amount of malice in him. He looks at Fedka like an ulcer man looks at a radish. Fedka's shirt got wet from fear, there was a pounding in his temples, a rumbling in his belly... Here, as they say, the fairy tale begins.

Come to us for morning pickle,
The English ambassador arrived.
And in our house there are snacks -
Half a slice and a corn.

Get ready, brother, let's go
Bring us some food -
Capercaillie, al partridge,
Al isho someone.

If you can't - who to blame?
I must execute you.
State business -
Are you catching the thread?

There's something I don't understand
In my mind, -
Tea, I slurp cabbage soup without bast shoes,
I'm trying to figure out what's what.

It turns out - on me
All politics in the country:
I won’t get a partridge -
There will certainly be war.

So that the English ambassador
I wasn't angry from hunger,
I won’t spare my head -
I’ll provide the pickle!..

Buffoon-amusement

The Tsar’s word is firmer than a cracker: if you send him to the bear, you will go to the bear, but where to go - you have to, Fedya! Or game and fish - or sword and rack. Fedot walked through a hundred forests, a hundred swamps, but all in vain: not a partridge, not a wood grouse. I’m tired and have no urine, and it’s already nightfall, even with an empty bag - but it’s time to go home. Suddenly he sees a bird, a wood dove, sitting - not hiding, not afraid of a gun...

This is misfortune, this is trouble:
There is no trace of game.
I'll shoot a pigeon -
Whatever you like, yes food!

But actually speaking,
Pigeons are scolded in vain:
Pigeon - if in gravy -
No worse than a wood grouse...

Blueberry

You, Fedot, don’t touch me -
The benefits of this are not worth a penny:
And you can't fill the pan,
And you can't stuff the pillow.

Tea, overseas gentleman
Loves fresh galantine -
What kind of meat is there in me?
So, not meat - just laughter...

Is the devil now zealous?
Is the air drunk now?
Maybe something happened in my ear?
What flaw do I have?

Either from the royal windows
Such a law was announced -
For the birds to talk
In human language?..

Blueberry

Don’t commit robbery, Fedot, -
And take me with you.
How will you bring me into the light
I will become your destiny.

I will sew, wash, cook,
Don’t reproach for insults,
And play Taba on the violin,
And kill the bugs...

What kind of parable is this, I don’t understand...
Okay, get into my bag.
There, on the spot, we'll figure it out,
Who's going where and what's what...

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot brought the little turtledove to his place, which means he’s sitting in his little room, sad, hanging his little head. And there are serious reasons for the sadness: our Fedot’s hunt didn’t go well, and the tsar doesn’t like to joke - he’ll chop off your head right away. Fedot sits sad and says goodbye to the white light. I remembered the bird, the forest dove, and lo and behold, in the middle of the little dove, instead of that dove, there stood a beautiful maiden, slender as a tree!..

Beautiful maiden

Hello, Fedya! You and me -
We are now one family.
I am your wife - Marusya,
I am your wife.

Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot,
Like pouring water into your mouth -
It’s not the same kokoshnik I’m wearing,
Is the outfit I’m wearing wrong?..

On the tab, my soul,
A century would look without breathing,
Just to become your husband
There's no chance for me!..

I was there just before dawn
At a reception with the king,
Well, the king gave me a task -
In the sense, it means - a capercaillie.

If you want game and it’s not the season -
There is no reason to argue with the authorities.
Okay, I think I'll get it:
Tea, capercaillie, not bison.

I walked all day
And good luck - if only there was a shadow:
Not a single serious bird -
It's all complete rubbish...

And now, my dear friend,
No time for dancing on the meadow -
Tomorrow the king will take care of this matter
He'll chop my head off.

And I’m useless like that -
Neither at work, nor at home,
Because my whole point
Exclusively in the mind!..

Don't be sad and don't whine!
There will be a table, and there will be game!
Well, stand in front of me,
Titus Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

Marusya claps her hands -

If you understand the order -
Do it now!

Well done

Don't hesitate:
Tea, this is not the first time!

Buffoon-amusement

And the king and the ambassador are already sitting at the table. Nearby - you look! - princess and nanny. And everyone is waiting for the promised food from Fedya. What's a conversation without a hearty lunch? And the table is empty: carrots and cabbage, dill and parsley - that’s the whole feast. The guest is bored - he shakes his boots, examines the holes in the tablecloth. The Tsar is angry - he does not notice how he calls Fedka after his mother. Suddenly - as if from heaven: a loaf of bread, a bucket of caviar, stewed turkey, sterlet fish soup, veal offal - and such food - there are thousands of names! With such food - how can there not be a conversation!..

Causes antiresis
Your technical progress:
How do you sow rutabaga there?
With or without peel?

Causes antiresis
Your nutritional process:
How do you drink kakava there?
With or without saccharin?

Causes antiresis
And this is the cut:
How do your women walk there?
In trousers or without?..

I would have been embarrassed to even send an ambassador!
Has his head completely weakened?
No matter what they say -
Anything will lead to women!

Are you playing your tune again?
I'll put it in prison, keep that in mind!
I'm not just babbling -
I'm conducting politics!

The Avon girl has grown up,
And then, like half an oar!
So I’m thinking about how to give it away
Our steal for the ambassador!

Just need some benefit
To lure him without being angry -
Make subtle hints
Unsurprisingly and from afar.

Yes for this ambassador
Even I wouldn’t go, -
So he glares, the bastard,
What to clean off the table!

He’s all “yes>> yes “yes>>” to you,
Meanwhile, he eats and eats everything.
Turn away - he's half the race
Will gobble it up in one sitting!

Ali sew your mouth shut,
I'll kick Ali out!
You've already given me away
All overseas attaches!

Once upon a time there was a Spanish grandee -
What a dandy, what a dandy!
There's a diamond in each ear -
Why is this not an option for you?

You set it up so that the guest
I accidentally sat on a nail,
And I left the guest -
Political anger!..

Why, I remember! Entot grand
Was to devour great talent:
He got his head into the plate,
The bow was already stained with grease.

Whatever you ask the grandee -
He's like a butt - "si" and "si"
Well, it’s all coming together
For herring Ivasi.

I'm behind your line
I'll rot you in Solovki!
I'm not joking with you
I'm serious!

From Germany Baron
He was good from all sides
I couldn’t resist even that -
Damaged him.

Who's at the bottom of the bucket?
Threw a dead mouse?
You're a total pest,
Damned soul!..

Yes, this is your baron
The crack was pretty good!
Throw him into the flock of crows -
He will take it from the crows too.

Proud in appearance - “I-a” and “I-a”,
And gluttonous like a pig,
Give straw - he will eat straw:
Tea, someone else’s, not our own!..

Well, spy, give me time -
I'll throw you in jail!
Well, I'm not an angry guy,
But he is strict with pests.

So answer me - don’t waste words:

Where can a princess get a husband?
Tea, you fool, you see -
She has no army of suitors!

If only a regiment were crowded here -
There would be some point in bickering,
Well, no - grab anyone,
Even if he were a Bryansk wolf!..

Princess

If you are in power in the race,
So, rule the race to your heart’s content,
Don't meddle in my destiny
And don’t interfere with my love!

In the house of the entih attache
A hundred pieces per floor,
I need their cologne
I can’t breathe anymore!..

If love is truly evil,
You'll love the ambassador too.
And at the same time you will correct me
And trade matters.

I'm under this antires
I will melt hemp and wood for them.
All honesty agrees,
You're going against the grain!..

Princess

No matter how much you raise your eyebrow -
I repeat again and again:
The individual has the right
For free love!

Maybe it's finally done
And it would come to the rings, -
If only he suddenly wooed me
Your Fedotushko the Sagittarius!..

Tsits, you fool! Shut up!
Test place by the oven!
Well, go to your room
And learn solfege!

And the damned archer,
Insolent and scoundrel,
I'm using whips and batogs
I’ll run away from the palace right away!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king had a general who was collecting information. He will hide his face in his beard and wander around the city. Sniffs, a dog, thinking differently. He overhears conversations - what if there are conspirators in the country? Wherever he hears the FAQ, he will write it down in a book. And at seven o'clock exactly - to the Tsar for a report.

Why are you sad, General?
Ali fell ill with measles,
Ali got drunk on his mash,
Did Ali lose at cards?

Ali's army is small,
Ali service is not nice,
Ali found in the cannon
Barrel damage?

Report without any lies,
Why is there darkness in my heart, -
I would like to know in detail
Who, where, FAQ and how!

General

I was with the archer a while ago,
At Fedot the daredevil.
How I saw his wife -
So he jumped off the porch.

Third day - I'm not lying to her! -
I don’t take the saber in my hands,
And such dreaminess
Look, I'll die!

And the other day there was a sin -
I almost made up a poem,
The doctors got scared
They say: love shock...
Tsar

The archer bypassed the mine!..
But he knew that I was a widower!..
Well, I'll steal this ent in no time
Deliver me to the palace!

And the insidious archer
Wipe it off your face this very moment.
So that he doesn't wipe himself off
Near our porch!..

General

Snatching her is not difficult,
Yes, the people are painfully cool:
How will they find out whose idea it is, -
They'll grind the tabe into powder!

Now the people have become daring -
Don't put your finger in their mouth -
We do not favor Fedot,
But the people are the opposite!

You are such a fool
On Saturdays or what?
I owe the minister something
Explain any trifle?

To say something bad about the king
People didn't talk in vain,
Act strictly according to the law
That is, act... quietly.

Well, I’m already here -
I will reward you for your work:
The blacksmiths were given a task -
The order will be forged by tomorrow.

Buffoon-amusement

The general spent the whole day gathering his wits. I kept thinking in the sweat of my brow - how to get rid of Sagittarius. Yes, the thoughts in my head turned sour from tension. In my spare time I remembered about my old friend, Baba Yaga the Bone Leg. I’ll go to her - she’s smarter!.. And that middle of the oak grove collects herbs, cooks all sorts of poisons. When I saw the general, I lost all the herbariums. I miss you in the wilderness without a soul mate!..

Baba Yaga

You chavoy are not yourself,
Not rosy, not alive!..
Ali is a Swede near St. Petersburg,
Is he a Turk near Moscow?..

Eat aspen bark -
And you will cheer up for the time being:
Tea, not some kind of chemistry,
Tea, natural gifts!

In her juice, general,
There is a useful mineral -
From his generals
Not one died!..

General

That's enough, grandma! I'm not sick!..
Let's go over the hill!..
Make the hedgehogs and squirrels laugh,
There is a serious conversation.

Here we have one archer -
Extremely literate, bastard!..
So I got a task -
Completely destroy him!

Just how?..Cut off your head -
Then the rumor will begin to sound!..
Can you give me some advice?
What is the smartest way to ruin him?..

Baba Yaga

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,

Give me the answer about Sagittarius!..

Since he is so zealous and quick,
What enters into an argument with the king, -
Let him get it by tomorrow
Gold embroidered carpet.

So that it is visible on it,
Like on a map, the whole country.
Well, if he doesn’t get it -
That's a wine getter!..

General

Hey grandma! Oh yes special!
That's the end of the trouble!
At least take it out of the mortar -
Yes, minister, to the palace!

None of the Germans are at odds -
How far is it from trouble?
And with you I'm ready
Whether for reconnaissance or wherever!

I pay for good with good:
Whether it's a marten or a beaver,
If you don't want it, I can use a coin,
Gold or silver!..

Baba Yaga

Enough, dove, don’t sin,
Take your pennies away
I'm not in it for the money,
I do this for the soul.

There will be a new trouble -
Hurry straight here.
Tea, and we are not animals in the forest,
Tea, we will always help!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king is calling the archer, a daring young man. Isho didn’t give the task, and he’s already angry in advance. He twists his hands, knocks his feet, rotates his eyes - in general, he intimidates. He really wants to hurt Fedot so much that it hurts right in his bones!..

Get a carpet by morning -
Gold embroidered pattern!..
State business -
Hurt yourself, but be kind!

So that it is visible on it,
Like on the map, the whole country,
Because I'm from the balcony
No fucking review!

You won’t find the FAQ I want -
I'll shorten it to the head,
I'll tell you at dawn
Straight into the clutches of the executioner!

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot came home, dumb from grief. He sat down in the corner, looking at the ceiling, his clear eyes clouded with tears. Manya calls for food, but he shakes his neck, doesn’t want anything, sulks and whines...

Are you often angry like a hedgehog?
Do you often neither eat nor drink?
Ali's porridge is burnt,
Is the jelly bad?

What kind of food is there!
The king is angry - it’s a real disaster!
No to this villain
No government, no court!

Get, screams, carpet,
Gold embroidered pattern
The width of the entire Race,
A hundred forests and a hundred lakes!..

Don't freak out and don't whine!
Let the old bastard be angry!
Well, stand in front of me,
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!..

Marusya claps her hands -
two strapping young men appear.

If you understand the order -
Do it now!

Well done

Don't hesitate,
Tea, it's not the first time!

Buffoon-amusement

The next morning Fedot is at the Tsar’s Gate. I came to the reception and received the carpet. Stands smiling, the guards are not afraid. The king was surprised - he even choked on caviar. Anger wears on him, but doesn’t want to show it. He looks like he's happy...

Yesterday you asked for a carpet -
Well, I pinned him down.
Everything is according to the agreement -
Both the drawing and the color.

All Raseyushka in full
Reflected on the carpet.
This carpet is a gift for you
My wife wove it!..

Oh wow! Oh, snap it!
How many people are you married to?
Ali you got married right away
Whole weaving mill?

Tabe, Fedot, has a wife
No matter how smart she is, she’s still alone!
And to weave something like this overnight -
Their division is needed!..

Isn't the carpet pleasing to the eye?
Is the pattern in the carpet wrong?
Well, I'll put it under his arm -
And the conversation is over!

So that your labors are not wasted,
I will sell it to merchants,
And let him leave Russia
Sails to Amsterdam!..

I would like to beat you with whips,
Four or five
So that you don't get rid of yourself
Over serious people!

But since I'm calm
I honor order and law, -
Here's a nickel for vodka
And he got out of here!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king calls the general, a pin in his visor! The Tsar’s face looks like a beet, and when he’s red, he’s dangerous! It hits, the infection, no more than once, but it doesn’t miss the eye. The general tested this on himself: from the beginning of the fairy tale he has been walking around in a bandage!..

Well, bro, what's the result?
Are you a little confused?
Only this one will pull a little
About five years!

You are broad in our shoulders,
And my head completely withered away.
Here's how you can fix your mind
At state-owned grub!..

General

Throw me in prison
For any period of time -
It's all science
It won't do any good for me, the fool!

I would like a saber and a horse -
Yes to the line of fire!
And palace intrigues -
It's not all about me!

You tell me, your honor,
Stop the heat and flog it!
You can figure out how to do it without a saber
We must defeat Fedot.

Well, you'll be a fool -
Do not look for guilt in anyone:
I'll clean your snout
Personally with this fist!..

Buffoon-amusement

It was in vain that the general rubbed his hands: the raid failed to kill Fedot. Again the poor guy's head is tense. And in the head, listen, well, at least there’s a thought! I thought and thought, but I couldn’t think of anything. No matter how you twist it, you can’t do without Yaga! I went back into the oak grove to look for justice against Fedka...

Baba Yaga

Are you gloomy again?
What is the reason, who is to blame?
Al the Spanish races,
Did the guard go to war?..

This is jelly made from mold!
Have you tried tea yet?
Just drink it and you’ll immediately forget
About the worldly carousel.

It doesn't taste that good
But it takes away the trembling,
You'll be healthy by tomorrow
Unless you die!..

General

I'm talking about Sagittarius again!
There is no end to my troubles!
That's why I'm sick
That's why I fell off my face.

What a scoundrel, cunning -
He wiped everyone's noses!
No matter how much you conjure here,
And he got that carpet!

Even though he looks like a simpleton,
And the head is a master at cooking,
So from now on, cast your magic more seriously
With feeling, so melt yours!..

Baba Yaga

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
Give me the answer about Sagittarius!

So!.. Hey!.. Uh-huh!.. Aha!..
This is what Yaga found out:
Let him find you a deer,
So that horns are made of gold!

Search the whole wide world -
There are no such things in nature!
This is me, my dear,
I speak as a local historian!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king is calling the archer, a daring young man. Before our Fedot had time to wipe the sweat from his face, the villainous king had a new idea. The Tsar is seething with his plans - and Fedka is sweating! In general, Fedka’s life is worse than a bitter radish!..

Come on, throw off the blues and laziness
And on the road this very day!
State business -
I desperately need a deer!

If you are the king's servant -
Go beyond the mountains, beyond the meadows
And find me a deer there,
So that the horns are made of gold.

Don't talk and don't argue,
Go ahead and provide it.
Otherwise you’ll find out the moment
How your head falls off your shoulders!..

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot came home, his snot was a fringe. He sat down in front of the torch, hugging the torch. His beautiful wife throws herself on her neck, but he doesn’t even touch his wife! He sits and cries, which means he’s grieving!..

Are you looking like an owl?
Al were sad about what?
There's not enough salt in the hodgepodge,
Is the steak under-seasoned?

What a lunch!
The king tortured me - I won’t save you!
I'll have to again in the morning
To answer to him.

This king is a fierce enemy -
Sends me on the run again:
Find, shouts, a deer,
So that horns are made of gold!..

Don't be sad and don't whine!
There are sorrows and more!
Well, stand in front of me,
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!..

Marusya claps her hands -
two strapping young men appear.

If you understand the order -
Do it now!

Well done

Don't hesitate -
Tea, this is not the first time!..

Buffoon-amusement

Just after light Fedot is at the Tsar's gate. I came to the reception, and the deer was there. The king's left side stabbed with anger. I would crush the nit, but I don’t show it. He sits, yawns, and hides his anger.

Have you been waiting for tea? Good afternoon
Look out the window when you're not lazy!
You ordered a deer -
Well, here's a deer for you!

And - mind you! - horns on it
So they breathe fire,
From him without any lamp
At night it is as bright as day!..

Those deer - don't lie! -
None in Tula or Tver.
What's in Tver - in Baghdad itself
There are at most three of them.

Now think about it, soldier, -
Where is Moscow and where is Baghdad!
Ali, you got away overnight
To Baghdad and back?..

Fedot

Come on, you fucking louse!
And is a deer no good for you?
And yesterday I tore my soul:
Take out the deer and put it down!..

If you are already rich -
I will return him to Baghdad.
Who is in power there today? -
The guy will be happy!..

Fedka, give it to me
Or you will be separated from your head!
I see your hints
Exclusively through and through!

Oh well, for the prestige
Can't you forgive the devil!
On the tab there is a nickel for vodka
And go wherever you want!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king calls the general - right from under the blanket. The general is in a panic, looking for his underpants, he understands that they are not calling for gingerbread! The king sits on the throne - he is angry with the whole world. Black with anger, like a raven in a churchyard!..

No matter how hard you fought, my dear, -
Fedot didn’t get caught in the snare!
About the tab has already been compiled
Fictional obituary.

Just need to decide
What is the best way to solve this:
Stun with a candelabra
Should I suffocate with a pillow?..

General

I made a mistake, sir!
Here's that saber, hit it if you want!
Toko more than Fedot
My brains are not turpentine!

What a fool - don’t blame me!
I have a different essence!
I would like to attack somewhere!
Al go for an assault somewhere!..

You are with a fighting sword,
So here's the FAQ:
Fedot must be defeated
Not with a sword, but with your head!

Well, you will be just as fast,
How have you been until now, -
I am Tabe, cow face,
I’ll put it under the ax myself!..

Buffoon-amusement

Our fool strained his mind again. And there was that mind - small bins. I thought and thought, but I couldn’t think of anything. He whistled for a horde of dogs - and to Yaga in the oak grove. When she saw the general, she ran all the way to the Urals. But she came to her senses and returned: no matter how worse things turned out!..

Baba Yaga

You chavoy are out of your mind!
There's a pimple on my lip!
Oh, you'll waste your health
In the political struggle!..

Try hare droppings!
He's vigorous! He'll get it!
And where honey is more healing,
Although it doesn't taste like honey.

Although it tastes cool,
And sometimes they die,
But which ones survive -
They live to old age!..

General

Grandma, don't mess with me!
Find ways!
Think of it like Fedot
Bring it to the grave!

No matter how hard you fight, Yaga,
But it didn’t work out at all!..
Just don't pretend
As if there was tightness in the ear.

Blow your head off
Yes, work your magic more carefully.
Our Fedot, as it turned out,
Don't be so crazy!..

Baba Yaga

Actually, I'm cunning -
In the sense of the meanness of the gut,
But what do you want me today?
No magic in the morning!..

Everything stings and hurts,
And my chest is burning with fire!..
I have long suspected
I have encephalitis...

Oh, chavoy, I feel bad!
Do you hear the crunch in your back?
In a word, since this is the case -
I'm actually on the ticket!

General

If you get sick - no problem!
Eat the frog from the pond!
There is no more reliable medicine
Than the natural environment!

And fool me
We couldn't even think!
It's better to connect everything
Get to work!

And if you get into trouble -
I'll take the saber out of the scabbard!
Even though you are my friend,
But there must be order!..

Baba Yaga

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
Give me the answer about Sagittarius!

Let Fedot show agility,
May he be able to get you
To-FAQ-In-White-Light
Actually-Cannot-Be!

Well, Fedot, now hold on!
The point is right, it seems!
This is exactly the task
You won't do it for the life of you!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king is calling the archer, a daring young man. Again an order of national importance. When will this torment end! Meanwhile, the fairy tale is far from ending!..

Find out how to get me some
That-FAQ-Cannot-Be!
Write down your name
So as not to forget in a hurry!

If you don’t complete it by morning -
I'll grind the tabe into powder,
Because your karachter
I haven't felt like it for a long time!

So there’s no point in pouting your lips,
Let's get on the road soon!
State business -
Are you getting the point?

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot came home - worse than death itself! White as chalk, his face was numb. I sat down by the window - there was a veil in my eyes. Manya rushed, but he paid zero attention: you will be sad if death is behind you...

Well, pour out your soul to me,
Are you so damn angry?
Al in Milanese salad
Not enough truffles?..

I'm yours, Marus, menu
I really appreciate it
Only my life, Marusya,
Ruined in the bud!

What should I do? What do i do?..
How can I get rid of my trouble?
The king ordered me to deliver
That-FAQ-Cannot-Be!..

Don't be sad and don't whine!
All you have to do is shout!
Well, stand in front of me,
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!..

Marusya claps her hands -
two strapping young men appear.

If you understand the order -
Do it now!

Well done

We apologize, mistress,
This is not about us!

If only it were a diagram or a drawing,
We would start a spin.
Well, search as much as you want,
You'll find the bald devil!

Where to look and how to get it
That-FAQ-Cannot-Be?
After all, he’s not in the world,
No matter how much you dig the ground...

Don’t blame me, dear friend Fedot,
My income is not great!
Know, fate is taboo, falcon,
Go hiking yourself!

Don't fornicate abroad
Keep yourself clean.
Don't interfere in conversations
And don’t make acquaintances!

Avoid empty troubles
Avoid crooked roads
Think more about health
Eat sour cream and cottage cheese!..

You, Marus, don’t be afraid!
It will form, Marus!
I will fulfill the royal task -
And I’ll return safe!

Don't be sad without me!
Water your ficus more often!
If you want, play the balalaika,
Embroider on a hoop if you like!

Well, he’ll poke around like this,
Who will disturb your peace -
I don’t need to teach you:
Frying pan at hand!..

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot left for an overseas campaign. When the general found out about it, he lost his last mind. Our cunning man runs to the king’s palace to report that the archer is finished. I already drilled a hole for the order, you fat mug!..

Is the news good or bad?
Report everything to me as it is!
Better bitter - but true,
What a pleasant thing - but flattery!

Only if enta knows
Again it will not be God knows -
You are for such truth
You can sit down for ten years!..

General

I report: it’s a little dawn
Fedka raised the anchors!
Thank God we got rid of it
From him, from the ghoul!

Come on, nanny, come here,
Get to work -
Tear the hair from the crown of your head,
Those who are gray-haired.

And which ones are not gray-haired -
Comb them into rows.
Yes, take it easy with a comb -
I don’t have gardens there!..

Why scratch it, old devil?
If he bakes a bald spot?!
You have a lot of hair here
We need to register!..

And for what purpose is the tab needed?
At this age, wife?
After all, you are like a man,
I'm sorry, it's worthless!..

Even though I have no hair,
And I have to get married.
The Shah of Persia is also bald
And he has forty wives!

I just want one
Get yourself a wife!
Something I mean in an intimate sense
And I can’t handle one?..

Apparently the Shah has
There is both strength and becoming,
And taba, you’re a dead cricket,
You can't see under the crown!

Taba at your age
The strength is still not the same!
Would you take care of your health -
After all, you are already over a hundred!..

Eka importance - more than a hundred!
If only the blood was thick!
They say you are submissive to love
Everyone is literally of age!

So, nanny, like it or not,
And I’m good for business!
If everyone is submissive to love,
So I am submissive too!..

You, my friend, are one of those husbands,
What is more harmless than snakes:
They scratch, but don't bite,
I wouldn't say it's the worst!

To steal someone else's woman,
You must have ardor and passion!
And your task now is
Don't go to the cemetery!..

(To the General)

Well, why are you silent?
Are you strumming medals?
Al, don’t you see how dirty they are?
national prestige!

The nanny bends me into an arc,
And the minister - not a word!
You are our defense
So, fight back the enemy."

General

But these are women's courts
There are always bad things about men!
Don't doubt yourself,
You are a lover anywhere!

Proud profile, firm step,
From behind - it's a clear check!
Toko - move the crown to one side,
So as not to hang on your ears...

(To the Nanny)

The minister is not my enemy,
I said everything as it is without lying,
But he is not a stupid man,
Don't look like he's a fool.

Tabe is nothing but bedlam,
Shame on the king, embarrassment on the ambassadors!
I have been anti-resisting for a long time:
Aren't you sent to us?..

Don't spy and don't harm,
If you dare, look!
We're having a conversation with you
There will be a big one ahead!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king goes to Mana to pay attention. He himself sits in the carriage, stinking of decologne, behind the king the retinue is powdered and curled, behind the retinue there is a chest - kozinaki and hazelnuts. Everything is honorable - the king is going to his bride!..

By order of the king
Fedka has left for the seas!
In general, I left him
Melted, to put it simply!

So as not to be poor alone,
Become my wife!
What about the FAQ?.. I'm a distinguished man
And groovy affection!..

Isho Fedot didn’t have time
Take a step from the gate,
And the crows have already flown
To Fedotov's garden!..

Don't be a fool to me, girl!
They offer it - take it!
Tea, come to you every evening
Widow kings are walking!..

This very hour, I say,
Get ready for the altar!
Crazy with delight
Take a sniff of ammonia!

You are better, sir,
Hit others!
My concern is to wait for Fedot
Yes, look at the calendar!..

Come on, girl, the rumors lie!
Waiting for Sagittarius is a waste of time.
He's in some Hong Kong
Eating some fruit mushroom!

You yourself, fool, weigh yourself:
He is there, and you are here!
There is no taperich Fedot,
Fedot was there, but he all came out!

Even if you beat me with a whip,
Even cut me with a sword -
All the same as your wife
I won't give a damn!

You, Marus, don’t make me angry
And the conflict with me did not last long!
I'm leaving for Paris the other day
The guillotine has arrived!

In light of what I said -
Better be my wife!
I have nerves too,
I'm not made of steel either!

Go away, hateful one, away
And I don’t mind being a husband!
If you don't leave, then I can
Help with a frying pan!

Hey, the little guys at the door, -
Get her into shackles quickly!
What kind of fashion is this -
Frying pans into kings!

You'll get hurt in prison -
And you will get better in your mind!
No matter how much you, girl, don’t worry -
Let's get married by winter!..

Catch me, you idiot
It takes a lot of work!
Goodbye, my sieve friend,
Maybe we'll meet again sometime...

Marusya turns into a dove
and flies away.

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot swam for almost a year. I ate halva, ate persimmons - but kept my own in mind! Miracles in the world are like flies in a toilet, but the necessary miracle is not yet in sight. Fedot is worried - time is ticking! I decided without hysteria: I’ll go to America. Fedot floats among the endless waters, the sunset is ahead, the sunrise is behind. Suddenly, in the middle of the hike, the weather turned bad. There was no misfortune - and on you, hello: the ship is a crap! - and fell into pieces!.. The thunderstorm passed - Fedot opened his eyes: he was lying on the wave, completely unharmed. He sees an island sticking out like a float. I got to the shore, I thought - America. He took out the map and checked it, but no, it’s not America. And Buyan Island, damn it, maybe there’s some flaw in the map?! Fedot sits, hiccups, takes in the situation...

Fedot

How much at the whim of the king
I have never sailed overseas
I've never seen a lousier place
Frankly speaking!

Well, the island is just melancholy! -
Entirely made of stone and sand,
And as long as the eye can see -
No river, no forest!..

It wouldn't be a problem,
If only there was food here, -
If there were quinoa here,
If only quinoa would do!..

Who is hungry for food -
Let him come here:
I have plenty of food
I have her pounds!

For example, get
Rolls straight from the oven,
Here's a turkey roast
Here's a cherry plum compote!

Here are the sausages, here are the cheeses,
Here's half a centner of caviar,
Here are the Caribbean lobsters,
Here are the Don sturgeons!..

Tables with food appear.

Do me the honor, master,
Show yourself what you are!
Somehow indecent for a guest
Drink and eat alone!

Tea, on your island
It's more fun to be bored together -
Where will we scatter the cards?
Let's pour a glass somewhere!..

I would be glad, but my portrait -
It’s a secret for me too!
Sometimes I wonder myself
Either I exist or I don’t!..

I have countless worries:
There is food, but there is nothing to eat,
There is tobacco but there is nothing to sniff,
There is a bench but nothing to sit on!

So tired for a thousand years,
What is not the joy of white light!
I thought I was going to hang myself -
Again, there is no neck!

Oh yes, a meeting!.. So,
I managed to get you -
To-FAQ-In-White-Light
Actually-Cannot-Be!

What, melancholy and moping,
To waste life in vain, -
Maybe you can swim with me
Before the Rasei king?..

Take a walk, freshen up,
Make friends with white light!
What is life without adventure?
Just horror, not life!..

I'm a helpful prospect
Never against!
I'm ready for the bees to enter the hive,
If only it were in colftiv!

Order - and at least where,
At least for ore mining!
I'll work hard for nothing
No drinking and no food!

I'm good for any business,
I can enter any door
I'll get you whatever you want -
Even a savvy louse!..

It's a louse, of course, so what?
Louse - it’s not bad either!
But on this insect
You won't get far!

Better get me a fleet -
Either a boat or a raft,
Since you're so skilled
A polyglot in this matter!

By morning, around five o'clock,
We must be on our way,
Because we are in Russia
We're already tired of waiting, guess!..

Buffoon-amusement

Meanwhile, the king does not waste time - he receives the ambassador of the cannibal tribe. London-Paris greased their skis, the Tsar was left with thinner ambassadors. The Tsar just jumps like a goat in front of the ambassador: they say, here’s your daughter, take her - and that’s it! You know, things are really bad, since it has come to such a disaster! Well, okay, it can be worse - as long as the girl is with her husband!..

Good afternoon, happy hour!
We are glad to see you here!
Take gud, salaam alaikum,
Bona sir, you ist das!

Who are you from?.. How old are you?..
Are you married or not?
Would you like to join our Freuden?
Cock tete-a-tete?

To whom are you, old demon,
Are you breeding politeness here?
Your ambassador, I'm sorry,
The third day is like falling off a palm tree!

If he was wearing at least a cap, -
It wouldn't be such an embarrassment
And from his clothes -
Nothing other than beads!..

You are a spy, that's a fact!
No matter what you blurt out, it’s all out of tune!
You are with everyone abroad
I lost contact!

I've been waiting for messengers for years,
And she is theirs - from Sentsy!
For whom then the princess
Give it away in the end?..

Look at his face:
Ears apart, nose ring!
And the skin is all pockmarked,
Like a cuckoo's egg!..

Even I - FAQ to hide? -
I wouldn't go to bed with him!
Is it really our girl?
To give for this?!.

When the chances are zero -
They look for gold in the ashes.
The girl also means faces
Far from being a creme brulee.

Anything will do for her now -
Whether hunchbacked or pockmarked,
Because they are pockmarked
They don't rush to us in droves!..

Well, he's from the wild places,
What he sees, he eats!
Do you remember the topaz vase?
He gobbled it up, Herod - here is the cross!

If only he had asked, the villain,
Salmon and milk mushrooms -
Well, he eats faq at random,
From porcelain to nails!..

Whatever he asks for, he is a guest!
Bring everything to him in handfuls!
Tea, we have no shortage
Neither in porcelain, nor in nails?

Since salmon disgusts him -
Let him eat whatever he wants,
Look, on a full stomach
And he will seduce the princess!..

Yes, ambassadors - at least give them poison! -
They'll eat everything for free!
Maybe he's safe
But let them follow him!

You tell him as father-in-law:
Eat, they say, everything - but know, they say, honor, -
Because he's in the heat of the moment
And he can eat the princess!

Princess

To go out into the world with something like that?
Well, the pipes!.. well, no!..
He's already unprepossessing,
Duck isho and a cannibal!..

Let him go, he's a troglodyte,
It will make me all rich, -
No reciprocal passion
He won't turn me on!

Call back the ambassador
Yes, stay with him vis-a-vis,
And you will endure a little -
There it will come to love!

If this entot is a troglodyte
He'll see your appearance -
He will forever lose
Appetite for cannibalism!..

Princess

No matter how much, dad, you noah -
The right to choose is mine!
I'll poison myself, but I won't
A cannibalistic wife!

But if he comes
With Fedot's proposal -
For me from the candidates
Entot will be the one!..

Charged like a hoopoe -
Every word is Fedot!
Apart from Fedot, no
No sorrows, no worries!

Your Fedot is now at the bottom,
In the depths of Okiyansk,
And - since drowned -
Doesn't need a wife!..

Princess

If that's the case -
I refuse to eat!
Here's mine for you, daddy,
Political revenge!

I won’t eat caviar -
As usual, by the bucket, -
And out of exhaustion
I'll get sick and die!..

Wherever you spit, no matter where you poke, -
From ministers to relatives -
They're all freethinkers,
All pests are the same!..

What a lump in my throat!
No sympathy for anyone!
I'll find a quieter forest
And I’ll get a job as a forester!..

Buffoon-amusement

A year has passed, another is coming - Fedot returned home. But there is no house - just a skeleton sticks out, beams and rafters, and nettles all around. And under the eaves, a bird, a forest pigeon, curled up in a gray ball...

Come on, wifey, come on
Set the table for your husband!
Take it out of the oven
Brown the loaf!

Pour some hearty cabbage soup
Fatter and thicker -
I Koschei became skinny
From overseas vegetables!

There's no one in the whole house,
Except for the wind...
Suspicious matter
Did a FAQ happen?..

The dove turns into Marusya.

Welcome back, Fedot!
Your journey lasted a long time!
Al forgot his Marusya,
Why haven't you traveled for a whole year?

Abroad, I guess
Entertainment is a dime a dozen!
Got my eye on my girlfriend
Yes, warmed up on your chest?..

I saw the white light -
Josephine and Henriette, -
But beauties like you
Marusya is not among them!

And I went beyond the seas,
Although it takes a long time, it’s not in vain -
Still completed the task
The cunning king!..

If only you knew, Fedot,
Who are you wasting your sweat on?
I wouldn't even take a step
From the gates of our birth!

You left - he, shameful,
He began to look after me
Persuaded, okhalnik,
Become a woman's wife!

Really?! Ah, villain!..
So now believe in people,
So stand for the honor of your uniform,
Here's to the service and for the sake of it!..

Oh well, I'll tell him
I'll explain what's what!
I'll take it to the very toes
I’ll sign it under Khokhloma!..

Stop making fools
From the race men!
I have nothing to lose now,
Except your own shackles!

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot got angry and called an honest people. The neighbors decided to help Feda. Frol took the stake, Ustin took the drin, Ignat took the grip. Egor took the ax. And everyone behind Fedot - to the Tsar's Gate. And the general coming towards them, damn him! He jumped up sideways, moved his pupil, took a closer look - and to the Tsar, for a report!..

General

There gathered at the gate
Entot... what's his name... people!
In general, the matter is accepted
Social turnover!

And it’s all Fedot’s fault:
That's why he's stirring up people -
Incites the population
Start a revolution!..

Well, why do we have you,
With a sword like this?
That's why we hold the tab to you,
May the kings' peace be preserved!

After the rain on Thursday
I'll give you an extra medal,
Just try your best
So that the people do not overthrow me!..

General

Look, a medal!.. Great honor!..
I have countless awards:
All hung up like a Christmas tree,
There are six of them on the back!..

Protect you from harm
Now I have no reason!
You are for your own meanness
You have to answer for yourself!..

Buffoon-amusement

He was such a fool - and how he spoke! Even though the king is angry, try to hit it! This is not the time to hit the nail on the head. The king came out onto the porch, made a stern face, and in the square there were people - all of Russia was there!

What about your mother?
I'm sorry, do you understand?
We are not some kind of storage,
To stir up trouble!

Who wants to go to Kolyma -
Come out one at a time!
There you will have a moment
Enlightenment in the mind!

As for the mind -
He is very fair:
Thank God we distinguish
Forget-me-not from crap!

Why don't you hurry me up
Sent over a hundred seas?
Isn't it just to get married?
On my wife?..

Ento where are you, villain,
I got ideas like this
To rivet any FAQ
For decent people?

Does this suit me -
To pester your wife!..
Here they come, you fools,
On foreign tours!..

Don't be too angry, -
We're here for tea, not for tea!
Well, will you race -
I'll accidentally drive into the snout!

About you, about the scoundrel,
Glory all the way to Cherepovets!
You are in the soul of all the people
Spit in my face!..

You shouldn't, Fedya!.. For me
My people are my relatives.
I have no thoughts about the people
I can't live even a day!..

In the morning I spread the sandwich -
Immediately I thought: what about the people?
And caviar doesn’t go down my throat,
And the compote doesn’t pour into your mouth!

At night I'll stand by the window
And I stand all night without sleep -
I'm still worried about Rasey,
How is she, poor thing?

And the culprit is the general,
Schemer and immoral!
This is him, the face of a cow,
You've sullied the Tsarev's honor!

Let him come out - where is he?
I'll ask him now!..
I'll rip off his medal
Yes, a medal - in the face!..

General

What are you, brothers... I'm for you
Lost an eye in the attack!..
Whenever I dare
Against the masses?..

I couldn't. I couldn't resist.
I didn't. Was not a member.
Was not. Was not. Was not. Was not.
Didn't even stand next to it!..

I'll justify it. I'll serve.
I'll suffer. I'll do my time.
To the oppressive elite
I don't belong anymore!..

And the culprit is Yaga!
There is no more dangerous enemy!
In front of her is Gorynych himself -
So - not a snake, but a small fry!

Well, where are you, fidget?
Look people in the eyes!
Personally, I can't resist -
I'll hit you twice with my saber!..

Baba Yaga

I am a folklore element,
I have a document
I might as well stay away
Fly away at any moment!

For the heat, for the snowstorm
Everyone scolds me, the hag, -
And there is no more harm in me,
Than in a chamomile in a meadow!

Well, by chance, well, jokingly
I've lost my way!
After all, I am a child of nature,
Although it’s bad, it’s a child!

If we judge - just those two,
My accomplices.
I look like evil spirits,
But in fact - cleaner than them!

Well, you are cunning people -
It really takes me by surprise!
Everyone thinks everyone else is a freak,
Despite the fact that he himself is a freak.

At least the racial people
They don’t give in to reprisals -
But I have to, guys,
Bring a trial to you.

Spare me, Sagittarius!
I'm a bastard! I'm a scoundrel!..
I will exile myself to Voronezh,
I will exile myself to Yelets!..

Just not to Magadan -
This is beyond my years:
I'll get there by now -
I'm afraid I'll give you the oak!..

General

I admit my guilt.
Meru. Degree. Depth.
And please guide me
For the current war.

Baba Yaga

Where should I go, a widow?..
Did you just go to Khiva?..
I'm already on the outskirts -
There is nowhere else to go - I live!..

For me to rest my soul
Tetyushi would come,
Tama in the sense of medicine
The herbs are very good!..

We'll put you in a tub,
Let's throw it into the sea - and hell!
You can make do with a tub -
I won't give you the boat!

And the monstrosity will carry you
Straight to the island on Buyan!
Well, so as not to go wild,
Here's my personal button accordion.

True, he is my fault! -
Not a damn thing plays,
But no matter what,
And you need culture!

Princess

As for the king -
Let him go overseas.
I have problems with war
Deep to the lantern!

He is punished by fate
For deceit and robbery.
This is him, the damned ghoul,
Separated me from you!

Thank God it's finally
The usurper is finished,
And now we can safely
Go down the aisle!

I would be glad to have it in my house
There's no need for two spouses!
Go to Entuteme
To an unmarried person!..

Are you crazy?
The fish swims into the net by itself!
Tea, not everyone is so lucky
Get it for free!

Ali, do you think it’s behind her?
Are there not enough guys running around?
On her list of candidates
There are no dumber guys!

All with excitement in the blood
Waiting for princess love
Competition is like this -
Just spray them with dust!

Just got married just before dawn
At once a Turk, a Greek and a Swede,
We got it right away
Negative answer!

And to the poor archer
Arrogance is not at all becoming.
Take, fool, the princess
And drag her to the crown!..

I'm neither Turkish nor Greek,
I'm a family man
And with my wife Marusya
I won't part forever!

Princess

So you can't bear it
I'm burning to help the girl?
But for now I'm still
After all, the Tsar’s daughter!

If I don't get it
I want a FAQ from you -
You go away
Straight into the clutches of the executioner!

You're too hot!
Where will you find the executioner?
When dad was overthrown, he
Immediately gave the goosebumps!

Now - keep this in mind! -
You have to be in harmony with the crowd:
Despotism is not in fashion now,
Democracy is on the move.

I wish you could leave
In this... what's his name... in Brussels,
Once this happens,
Sorry, carousel!

Forgive her, Fedot, -
There's confusion in her mind
She gets her thoughts from books
They stood backwards.

Dumas has read a lot -
So she went crazy!
He'll freak out a little
Calm down yourself!..

Come on, princess, don’t be sad!
And don’t crunch your muscles!
That love didn't work out for us -
Forgive me for that!

But since I'm in debt
I can't stay
I am in your misfortune
I will help as best I can!

I'm from Tula to Torzhok
I'll search everything to the top,
Even from the bottom of the sea -
And I’ll get it, groom!

Princess

I agree!.. But still
Not just anyone will be good enough for me.
I want a husband like this
So that he looks like you!

Whether he is a Swede or a reaper,
Doctor, baker and blacksmith,
I have one condition:
Let him be your twin!..

I am your dream, my friend.
I'll definitely take it into account
At least such copies
Everything in Rasey counts.

As for the mind -
I don't have any duplicates.
However, this is what I hope
You noticed it yourself.

Well, well done
Still no thinner than jellied meat:
Since I promised -
I'll get a twin!

And now, honest people,
Get the faces out of your beards!
Tea, we are not having a memorial service -
Quite the opposite!

Now we can't shed tears -
Sing songs and drink mead!..
Come on, stand in front of me,
That-FAQ-Cannot-Be!..

I've been standing here for a long time,
At the edge of the porch,
I'm waiting for you to finish
Your meeting!..

Fedot

Treat the honest people
From overseas bounties!
Tea, they are such food
I've never put it in my mouth since birth...

Offer them in reality
Samarkand halva,
And Turkish pistachio,
And Persian quince!

Put everything on the tablecloth
Chocolate and marmalade,
And Dutch brisket
And Chukhonsky servelat!

Don't forget the Swiss cheese -
The one that's all made of holes.
Throw us a glorious feast,
The likes of which the world has never seen!

Well, if someone asks
About a hundred grams of mash -
Nothing: today you can!
Thank God - there is something!..

Buffoon-amusement

I was at that feast and ate grainy caviar. Prov ate pilaf. Filat was eating salad. Ustin ate galantine. And Fedot the Sagittarius ate a pickled cucumber. And when he ate the cucumber, that’s the end of the fairy tale. And if a fairy tale is bad, it’s the storyteller’s fault. I wish I could catch the fool and give him a blow, but there’s no way - after all, the narrator is a fool! And since time immemorial we have not had a court for fools!..

A+ A-

Fedot the Sagittarius - Russian folk tale

The fairy tale tells the story of Fedot the archer, who shot the wing of a turtle dove, and she turned out to be a beautiful maiden. Fedot got married and lived happily. And the king saw the girl, fell in love with her and decided to kill Fedot. But Fedot was no mistake... The plot of the fairy tale is similar to the fairy tale “Go there - I don’t know where, bring that - I don’t know what.”

Fedot the Sagittarius read

In a certain kingdom there lived a king who was single and unmarried, and he had a whole company of archers; The archers went hunting, shot migratory birds, and supplied the sovereign's table with game.

A fellow archer named Fedot served in that company; He hit the target accurately, almost never missed, and for that the king loved him more than all his comrades.

It happened at one time that he went hunting very early, at dawn; He entered a dark, dense forest and saw a turtle dove sitting on a tree. Fedot aimed his gun, took aim, fired and broke the bird’s wing; a bird fell from a tree onto the damp ground. The archer picked it up, wants to tear off its head and put it in the bag, and the turtle dove says to him: “Oh, well done archer, don’t tear off my wild little head, don’t take me away from the world; It’s better to take me alive, bring me into your house, sit me in the window and see: as soon as sleep comes over me, at that very time hit me with your right hand backhand and you will bring yourself great happiness!” The shooter was deeply surprised. "What's happened? - thinks. - It looks like a bird, but speaks with a human voice! This has never happened to me before..."

He brought the bird home, sat it on the window, and stood there waiting. A little time passed, the turtledove put her head under her wing and dozed off; The shooter raised his right hand, hit it lightly with a backhand - the turtle dove fell to the ground and became a soul-maiden, so beautiful that you couldn’t even think of it, couldn’t imagine it, only say it in a fairy tale. There has never been another beauty like this in the whole world! She says to the good fellow - the royal archer: “You knew how to get me, know how to live with me; You will be my betrothed husband, and I will be your God-given wife!”

That's how they got along; Fedot got married and lives for himself - he makes fun of his young wife, but does not forget his service: every morning, at dawn, he will take his gun, go into the forest, shoot various game and take it to the royal kitchen.

His wife sees that he is exhausted from that hunt, and says to him: “Listen, friend, I feel sorry for you: every single day you worry, wander through the forests and swamps, you always return home wet, but there is no benefit to us. What a craft this is! This is what I know: you won’t be left without profits. If you get a hundred or two rubles, we’ll fix the whole thing!”

Fedot asked his comrades: from whom he borrowed two rubles, from whom he borrowed two and collected just two hundred rubles. I brought it to my wife. “Well,” she says, “now buy different silks with all this money!” Sagittarius bought two hundred rubles worth of various silks. She took it and said: “Don’t worry, pray to God and go to bed: the morning is wiser than the evening!”

The husband fell asleep, and the wife went out onto the porch, unfolded her magic book - and immediately two unknown young men appeared in front of her: “Order anything!” - “Take this silk and in one hour make me a carpet, such a wonderful one that has never been seen in the whole world, and on the carpet the whole kingdom would be embroidered - with cities, and villages, and rivers, and lakes! »

They set to work and not only in an hour, but in ten minutes they made a carpet - everyone was amazed; They gave it to the archer’s wife and instantly disappeared, as if they had not existed.

The next morning she gives the carpet to her husband. “Here,” he says, “take it to the guest yard and sell it to the merchants, but be careful: don’t ask for your price, but take what they give you!”

Fedot took the carpet, unrolled it, hung it on his arm and walked along the living room rows. One merchant saw it, ran up and asked: “Listen, venerable one! Are you selling, or what?” - “I’m selling.” - “What’s it worth?” - “You are a salesman, you set the price!”

So the merchant thought and thought, he couldn’t appreciate the carpet - and that’s all! Another merchant jumped up, followed by a third, a fourth, and a great crowd of them gathered, looking at the carpet, marveling, but unable to appreciate it.

At that time, the palace commandant was driving past the rows of living rooms, saw a crowd, and he wanted to find out: what were the merchants talking about? He got out of the carriage, approached and said: “Hello, merchants, overseas guests; What are you talking about? - “So and so, we can’t evaluate the carpet!” The commandant looked at the carpet and was amazed himself. “Listen, Sagittarius,” he says, “tell me the real truth, where did you get such a glorious carpet?” - “My wife embroidered.” - “How much should I give you for it?” - “I myself don’t know the price; my wife told me not to bargain, but whatever they give is ours!” - “Well, here’s ten thousand for you!”

Sagittarius took the money and gave the carpet; and this commandant was always with the king - and drank and ate at his table; So he went to the king for dinner and brought the carpet: “Wouldn’t your majesty want to see what a nice thing I bought today?” The king looked - as if he saw his entire kingdom in the palm of his hand, he gasped: “This is a carpet! I have never seen such a trick in my life. Well, commandant, whatever you want, I won’t give you the carpet!” The king immediately took out twenty-five thousand and gave it to him from hand to hand, and hung the carpet in the palace. “Nothing,” the commandant thinks, “I’ll order another one for myself, even better.”

He immediately galloped to the archer, found his hut, entered the little room and, as soon as he saw Streltsov’s wife, at that very moment he forgot himself and his business, he doesn’t know why he came: in front of him is such a beauty that he couldn’t take his eyes off him , everyone would watch and watch! He looks at someone else’s wife, and in his head thought after thought: “Where has this been seen, where has this been heard, for a simple soldier to own such a treasure? Even though I serve under the king himself and have the rank of general, I have never seen such beauty anywhere!”

It was with great effort that the commandant came to his senses and reluctantly went home. From that time on, from that time on, he became not himself: both in dreams and in reality, he only thinks about the beautiful archer: he eats - he won’t eat, and he drinks, he won’t get drunk, she still seems like her!

The king noticed him and began to ask him: “What happened to you? How bad is it?" - “Ah, Your Majesty! I saw a Sagittarius’s wife - there is no such beauty in the whole world; I think about her all the time, and I can’t eat or drink anything, I can’t bewitch her with any drug!”

The king felt the urge to admire it himself, so he ordered the carriage to be laid and went to Streltsy Settlement. He enters the little room and sees unimaginable beauty! Whoever looks at it - whether old or young - will fall madly in love. A sweetheart of his heart pinched him: “Why,” he thinks to himself, “am I walking around single, not married? I wish I could marry this beauty; Why should she be a shooter? She was destined to be a queen!”

The king returned to the palace and said to the commandant: “Listen! You managed to show me Streltsov’s wife - unimaginable beauty, now manage to show her husband. I want to marry her myself... If you don’t, blame yourself: even though you are my faithful servant, you will be on the gallows!”

The commandant went and was even more sad than before: he couldn’t figure out how to solve the archer. He walks through vacant lots and back streets, and Baba Yaga meets him: “Stop, royal servant! I know all your thoughts; Do you want me to help you with your inevitable grief?” - “Help me, grandma!” Whatever you want, I’ll pay!” - “A royal decree has been told to you so that you can destroy Fedot the Sagittarius. This matter would be unimportant: he himself is simple, but his wife is sick and cunning! Well, we’ll make a riddle that won’t be solved soon. Return to the king and say: far away, in the thirtieth kingdom, there is an island, on that island there walks a deer with golden horns. Let the king recruit fifty sailors - the most unfit, bitter drunkards, and order an old, rotten ship to be built for the campaign, which has been retired for thirty years, and on that ship let him send Fedot the Archer to get deer - golden antlers. To get to the island, you have to swim neither more nor less - three years, and back from the island - three years, a total of six years. The ship will put out to sea, serve for a month, and then sink: both the archer and the sailors will all go to the bottom!”

The commandant listened to these speeches, thanked Baba Yaga for her science, awarded her with gold and ran to the king. “Your Majesty! - speaks. “So and so - you can probably kill the Sagittarius!”

The king agreed and immediately gave orders to the fleet: to prepare an old, rotten ship for the campaign, load it with provisions for six years and put fifty sailors on it - the most dissolute and bitter drunkards. The messengers ran to all the taverns, to the taverns, and recruited such sailors that it was interesting to look at: who had a black eye, who had a nose twisted to one side. As soon as the king was informed that the ship was ready, he at that very moment demanded the archer: “Well, Fedot, you are a great fellow, the first archer in the team; do me a service: go to distant lands, to the thirtieth kingdom - there is an island there, on that island there walks a deer - golden horns; catch him alive and bring him here!”

Sagittarius is lost in thought and doesn’t know what to answer. “Think don’t think,” said the king, “and if you don’t get the job done, then here’s my sword - your head off your shoulders!”

Fedot turned left in a circle and walked out of the palace; in the evening he comes home deeply sad, does not want to utter a word. His wife asks: “What are you talking about, dear? What kind of misfortune? He told her everything in full. “So are you sad about this? Something to talk about! This is a service, not a service. Pray to God and go to bed: the morning is wiser than the evening - everything will be done!”

The Sagittarius lay down and fell asleep, and his wife opened the magic book - and suddenly two unknown young men appeared in front of her: “Whatever, what do you need?” - “Go to distant lands, to the thirtieth kingdom - to the island, catch a deer - golden horns and bring it here!” - “Listen! Everything will be fulfilled towards the light!” They rushed like a whirlwind to that island, grabbed a deer - golden antlers and brought it straight to the archer in the yard; an hour before dawn they finished the whole thing and disappeared as if they had never been there.

The beautiful archer woke up her husband early and said to him: “Come and look: a deer with golden antlers is walking in your yard. Take him on the ship with you, sail forward five days, turn back six days.”

Sagittarius put the deer in a blind, closed cage and took him to the ship. “What’s going on here?” - the sailors ask. “Various supplies and drugs: the journey is long, you never know what you’ll need!”

The time has come for the ship to set sail from the pier; many people came to see off the swimmers, and the king himself came; said goodbye to Fedot and put him in charge of all the sailors.

The ship has been sailing on the sea for five days; the shores have not been seen for a long time. Fedot the Sagittarius ordered a forty-bucket barrel of wine to be rolled out onto the deck and said to the sailors: “Drink, brothers, don’t be sorry!”

And they were happy about that, they rushed to the barrel and started drinking wine, and they were so tense that they immediately fell near the barrel and fell into a deep sleep. The Sagittarius took the helm, turned the ship towards the shore and sailed back, and so that the sailors don’t find out about this, know that he gives them wine from morning to evening.

And on the eleventh day he brought the ship to the pier, threw out the flag and began firing from the cannons. The king heard the shooting and immediately went to the pier - what was there? He saw the archer, became angry and attacked him with all cruelty: “How dare you come back before the deadline?” - “Where should I go, Your Majesty? Perhaps some fool swims in the seas for ten years and does nothing worthwhile, but instead of six years, we only traveled for ten days, but we did our job: would you like to look at the deer - the golden antlers?

They immediately removed the cage from the ship and released the golden-horned deer; the king sees that the archer is right, you won’t take anything from him, and allowed him to go home, and gave freedom to the sailors who traveled with him for six whole years: no one dare ask them for service - for the very fact that they these years have served.

The next day the king called the commandant and attacked him with threats. “What are you doing,” he says, “or are you joking with me? Apparently you don’t value your head! As you know, find a case so that Fedot the Sagittarius can be put to an evil death!” - “Your Royal Majesty! Let me think, maybe we can improve.”

The commandant walked through vacant lots and back streets, and Baba Yaga met him: “Stop, royal servant! I know your thoughts; Do you want me to help you with your grief? - “Help me, grandma!” After all, the archer returned and brought a deer - golden antlers! - “Oh, I heard it! He himself is a simple man, it wouldn’t be difficult to kill him - it’s like sniffing a pinch of tobacco! Yes, his wife is painfully cunning... Well, we’ll tell her another riddle, which she won’t be able to solve so quickly. Go to the king and say: let him send an archer there - I don’t know where, bring something - I don’t know what. He won’t be able to complete this task forever and ever: he’ll either disappear completely without a trace, or he’ll come back empty-handed!”

The commandant awarded Baba Yaga with gold and ran to the king; the king listened and ordered the archer to call: “Well, Fedot! You are a great guy, the first archer in the team. You served me one service: you got a deer - golden antlers, serve me another: go there - I don’t know where, bring that - I don’t know what! Yes, remember: if you don’t bring it, then my sword is your head off your shoulders!”

Sagittarius turned left in a circle and walked out of the palace; comes home sad and thoughtful. His wife asks: “What, dear, are you freaking out? What other misfortune?” “Eh,” he says, “I knocked one misfortune off my neck, and another fell: the king sends me there - I don’t know where, he ordered me to bring something - I don’t know what... Through your beauty I bring all the misfortunes!” - “Yes, this is a considerable service! To get there, you have to go nine years and back nine - a total of eighteen years, but whether it will be any good, God knows!” - “What to do, how to be?” - “Pray to God and go to bed: the morning is wiser than the evening!” Tomorrow you will find out everything.”

The Sagittarius went to bed, and his wife waited until nightfall, opened the magic book - and immediately two young men appeared in front of her: “Whatever, what do you need?” - “Don’t you know how to manage and go there - I don’t know where, bring something - I don’t know what?” - “No, we don’t!”

She closed the book, and the fellows disappeared from view. In the morning, the archer wakes up her husband: “Go to the king, ask for a golden treasury for the journey - after all, you’ve been traveling for eighteen years, and if you get the money, come and say goodbye to me!”

Sagittarius visited the king, received a whole bag of gold from the treasury and comes to say goodbye to his wife. She hands him a towel and a ball: “When you leave the city, throw this ball in front of you: wherever it rolls, go there too. Here’s my handicraft: no matter where you are, as soon as you wash your face, always wipe your face with this towel.”

The archer said goodbye to his wife and comrades, bowed to all four sides and went beyond the outpost. He threw the ball in front of him - the ball rolls and rolls, and he follows it.

About a month has passed, the king calls the commandant and tells him: “The Sagittarius went to wander around the world for eighteen years, and from everything it is clear that he will not live. After all, eighteen years is not two weeks, you never know what will happen on the road! He has a lot of money - perhaps the robbers will attack, rob him and put him to an evil death. It seems that now you can marry his wife. Take my stroller, go to the Streltsy settlement and bring it to the palace!”

The commandant went to the Streltsy settlement, came to the beautiful Streltsy sneeze, entered the hut and said: “Hello, smart girl; the king ordered you to be presented to the palace!”

She arrives at the palace; the king greets her with joy, leads her into the gilded chambers and says this word: “Do you want to be a queen? I will marry you." - “Where has this been seen, where has this been heard: to beat off a wife from a living husband! No matter what he is, even a simple Sagittarius, he is my lawful husband!” - “If you don’t go willingly, I’ll take it by force!” The beauty grinned, hit the floor, turned into a turtledove and flew out the window.

Sagittarius has passed through many kingdoms and lands, but the ball keeps rolling. Where the river meets, there the ball will be thrown over a bridge; where the Sagittarius wants to rest, there the ball will spread out like a downy bed. Whether it takes a long time or a short time - soon the fairy tale is told, but not soon the deed is done - the Sagittarius comes to a large, magnificent palace; the ball rolled to the goal and disappeared.

So the Sagittarius thought and thought: “Let me go straight!” - and entered the stairs into the chambers. He is met by three girls of indescribable beauty: “Where and why, good man, did you come from?” - “Ah, red maidens, they didn’t let me rest from the long hike and started asking me questions! You should have fed me and given me something to drink first, let me rest, and then you would have asked me for news!” They immediately set him up on the table, sat him down, fed him, gave him something to drink, and put him to bed.

Sagittarius has slept well, gets up from a soft bed, and the red girls are already bringing a washbasin and a sewn towel to him. He washed himself with spring water, but did not accept towels. “I have my own towel,” he says: “I have something to wipe my face with!” He took out a towel and began to dry himself. The red maidens ask him: “Good man! Tell me, where did you get this towel from?” - “My wife gave it to me!” - “So, you are married to our own sister!”

They called the old mother, who looked at the towel and at that very moment admitted: “This is my daughter’s handicraft!”

I started asking and investigating the guest. He told her how he married her daughter and how the king sent him there - I don’t know where, to bring something - I don’t know what. “Oh, son-in-law! After all, even I had never heard of this miracle! Wait a minute, maybe my servants know!”

The old woman came out onto the porch, shouted in a loud voice, and suddenly - where did they come from! - all sorts of animals came running, all sorts of birds flew in. “Go you, beasts of the forest and birds of the air! You animals prowl everywhere, you birds fly everywhere: haven’t you heard how to get there - I don’t know where, to bring something - I don’t know what?” All the animals and birds answered in one voice: “No, we haven’t heard about that!”

The old woman sent them off to their places - through the slums, through the forests, through the groves, returned to the upper room, took out her magic book, unfolded it - and immediately two giants appeared to her: “Anything, what do you need?” - “And that’s what, my faithful servants! Carry me and my son-in-law to the wide Okiyan Sea and stand right in the middle - in the very abyss!

They immediately picked up the archer and the old woman, carried them like violent whirlwinds to the wide Okiyan Sea and stood in the middle - in the very abyss: they themselves stood like pillars, and held the archer and the old woman in their arms. The old woman shouted in a loud voice, and all the reptiles and fish of the sea swam to her: they were swarming - because of them the blue sea was not visible! “Of course, you reptiles and fish of the sea! You swim everywhere, you visit all the islands: haven’t you heard how to get there - I don’t know where, to bring something - I don’t know what?” All the reptiles and fish answered in one voice: “No! We haven’t heard of that!”

Suddenly, an old, lanky frog, who had been retired for thirty years, pushed forward and said: “Kwa-kwa! I know where to find such a miracle!” - “Well, honey, it’s you that I need!” - said the old woman, took the frog and ordered the giants to take themselves and their son-in-law home.

Instantly they found themselves in the palace. The old woman began to question the frog: “How and which way should my son-in-law go?” The frog answers: “This place is at the end of the world - far, far away! I would conduct it myself, but I’m too old, I can barely drag my feet - I won’t be able to jump there at fifty years old!”

The old woman brought a large jar, filled it with fresh milk, put a frog in it and gives it to her son-in-law. “Carry,” he says, “this jar in your hands, and let the frog show you the way!” Sagittarius took the jar with the frog, said goodbye to the old woman and her daughters and set off on his way. He walks, and the frog shows him the way.

Whether it’s close or far, whether it’s long or short, it comes to the fiery river; Behind that river there is a high mountain, in that mountain a door is visible. “Kwa-kwa! - says the frog. “Let me out of the jar, we need to cross the river.” Sagittarius took it out of the jar and let it fall to the ground. “Well, good fellow, sit on me, but don’t be sorry - you probably won’t crush me!”

Sagittarius sat on the frog and pressed it to the ground; The frog began to sulk: he sulked and sulked and became as big as a haystack. The only thing on Sagittarius’s mind is how not to fall: “If I fall, I’ll hurt myself to death!”

The frog pouted and as soon as he jumped, he jumped over the fiery river and became small again. “Now, good fellow, go through this door, and I’ll wait for you here; You will go into the cave and hide well. After some time, two elders will come there; listen to what they say and do, and after they leave, say and do the same yourself!”

The Sagittarius approached the mountain, opened the door - it was so dark in the cave that you could poke out your eyes; he climbed on his hands and knees and began to feel with his hands; He felt for an empty closet, sat down in it and closed it. A little later two elders come and say: “Hey, Shmat-razum! Feed you." At that very moment - where did everything come from! - the chandeliers lit up, plates and dishes rattled, and various wines and dishes appeared on the table. The old men got drunk, ate and ordered: “Hey, Shmat-razum! Take everything away." Suddenly there was nothing - no table, no wine, no food, and the chandeliers all went out.

The archer heard that the two elders had left, climbed out of the closet and shouted: “Hey, Shmat-razum!” - "Anything?" - "Feed me!" The chandeliers appeared again, the chandeliers were lit, the table was set, and all sorts of drinks and food. Sagittarius sat down at the table and said: “Hey, Shmat-razum! Sit down, brother, with me: we’ll eat and drink together, otherwise I’m bored alone!” An invisible voice answers: “Oh, good man! Where did God bring you from? “Soon it will be thirty years since I have faithfully served the two elders, and in all this time they have never once sat me down at the table with them.”

The Sagittarius looks and is surprised: there is no one to be seen, and it’s as if someone is sweeping the food off the plates with a broom, and the bottles of wine rise up on their own, pour themselves into glasses, and lo and behold, they’re already empty!

Now the Sagittarius has eaten and drunk and says: “Listen, Shmat-razum! Do you want to serve me? My life is good." - “Why not want to! I’ve been tired of here for a long time, and I see you are a kind person.” - “Well, tidy everything up and come with me!”

The archer came out of the cave, looked back - there was no one. “Shmat-mind! Are you here?" - "Here! Don’t be afraid, I won’t leave you alone!” - "OK!" - said the archer and sat on the frog. The frog pouted and jumped over the fiery river; he put it in a jar and set off on his way back.

He came to his mother-in-law and forced his new servant to treat the old woman and her daughters well. Shmat-reason indulged them so much that the old woman almost danced with joy, and assigned the frog three cans of milk a day for her faithful service. Sagittarius said goodbye to his mother-in-law and went home.

He walked and walked and became very tired - his quick legs sank, his white hands dropped. “Eh,” he says, “Shmat-reason!” If you only knew how tired I am: my legs are just going away!” - “Why haven’t you told me for a long time? I would deliver you to your place quickly.”

The archer was immediately picked up by a violent whirlwind and carried through the air so fast that his hat fell off his head. “Hey, Shmat-razum! Wait a minute, my hat has fallen off!” - “It’s too late, sir, I missed it!” Your hat is now five thousand miles behind! Cities and villages, rivers and forests flash before your eyes.

Here the archer flies over the deep sea, and Shmat-razum says to him: “Do you want me to make a golden gazebo on this sea? It will be possible to relax and find happiness.” - “Well, do it!” - said the archer and began to descend to the sea.

Where the waves rose within a minute, an island appeared, and on the island there was a golden gazebo. Shmat-razum says to the Sagittarius: “Sit in the gazebo, relax, look at the sea: three merchant ships will sail past and land on the island; you call the merchants, treat me and exchange me for three wonders that the merchants are bringing with them. In due time I will return to you!”

The Sagittarius looks - three ships are sailing from the western side; The shipbuilders saw an island and a golden gazebo. “What a miracle! - They say. - How many times have we swam here, there was nothing but water, but here it goes! - the golden gazebo appeared. Let’s land, brothers, on the shore, let’s have a look and admire!”

They immediately stopped the ship's progress and dropped anchors; three merchant owners got into a light boat and went to the island. “Hello, good man!” - “Hello, foreign merchants! You are welcome to me, take a walk, have fun, take a break: the gazebo was built especially for visiting guests!”

The merchants entered the gazebo and sat down on a bench. “Hey, Shmat-razum! - the archer shouted. “Give us something to drink and eat!” A table appeared, on the table there was wine and food, whatever the soul wanted - everything was instantly fulfilled! The merchants just gasp. “Come on,” they say, “to change! Give us your servant, and take any curiosity from us in return.” - “What are your curiosities?” - “Look and you will see!”

One merchant took a small box out of his pocket, as soon as he opened it, a glorious garden immediately spread out all over the island: with flowers and paths, but he closed the box and the garden disappeared.

Another merchant took an ax out from under his coat and began to chop: chop and blunder - a ship came out! A blunder and a blunder - another ship! He pulled a hundred times - he made a hundred ships: with sails, with cannons and with sailors; the ships are sailing, the guns are firing, the merchant is asking for orders... He got amused, hid his ax - and the ships disappeared from sight, as if they had never existed!

The third merchant took out a horn, blew one end - immediately an army appeared: infantry and cavalry, with guns, with cannons, with banners; All regiments send reports to the merchant, and he gives them orders; the troops are marching, the music is thundering, the banners are fluttering... The merchant got amused, took the trumpet, blew it from the other end - and there is nothing where all the power went!

“Your curiosities are good, but they are of no use to me! - said the archer. - Troops and ships are the king’s business, and I am a simple soldier. If you want to exchange with me, then give me all three wonders for one invisible servant!” - “Won’t it be too much?” - “Well, as you know, I won’t change otherwise!”

The merchants thought to themselves: “What do we need this garden, these regiments and warships for? It’s better to change - at least we’ll be full and drunk without any worries.” They gave the Sagittarius their wonders and said: “Hey, Shmat-razum! We take you with us, will you serve us faithfully?” - “Why not serve? I don’t care who I live with.”

The merchants returned to their ships and let all the shipmen drink and treat: “Come on, Shmat-razum, turn around!”

We ate, drank and fell into a deep sleep. And the Sagittarius sits in a golden gazebo, becomes thoughtful and says: “Oh, what a pity! Where is my faithful servant Shmat-razum now?” - “I’m here, sir!” Sagittarius was delighted: “Isn’t it time for us to go home?” As soon as he said it, he was suddenly picked up by a violent whirlwind and carried through the air.

And the merchants woke up, and they wanted to drink and eat: “Hey, Shmat-razum, give us something to drink and eat!” No one responds, no one serves. No matter how much they shouted, no matter how much they gave orders, it didn’t make a penny of sense. “Well, gentlemen! This scammer fooled us. Now the devil will find him! And the island disappeared, and the golden gazebo disappeared! The merchants grieved and grieved, raised the sails and went where they needed to go.

The Sagittarius quickly flew to his state and landed near the blue sea in an empty place. “Hey, Shmat-razum! Is it possible to build a palace here?” - “Why can’t you! It’ll be ready now!”

In an instant the palace appeared, and it was so glorious that it was impossible to say: twice as good as the royal one! Sagittarius opened the box - and a garden appeared around the palace with rare trees and flowers.

Here is a Sagittarius sitting by the open window and admiring his garden; suddenly a turtledove flew into the window, hit the ground and turned into his young wife. They hugged, said hello, began asking each other, telling each other. The wife says to the Sagittarius: “Ever since you left home, I’ve always been flying through the forests and groves like a blue dove!”

The next morning, the king went out onto the balcony, looked at the blue sea and saw: on the very shore there was a new palace, and around the palace there was a green garden. “What kind of ignoramus decided to build on my land without permission?”

The messengers ran, scouted and reported that the palace had been set up by the archer, and he himself lived in the palace, and his wife lived with him. The king became even more angry, ordered to gather an army and go to the seaside, destroy the garden to the ground, break the palace into small parts, and put the archer himself and his wife to brutal death.

The archer saw that a strong royal army was coming towards him, he quickly grabbed an ax: a blunder and a blunder - the ship came out! He pulled a hundred times and made a hundred ships. Then he took out his horn, blew it once - the infantry fell, blew another blow - the cavalry fell. Chiefs from regiments and ships run to him and wait for orders. The archer ordered the battle to begin; Immediately the music began to play, the drums were beaten, the regiments moved, the infantry was crushing the royal soldiers, the cavalry was catching up, taking them prisoner, and from the ships around the capital city they were firing from cannons! The king sees that his army is running, he rushed to stop the army - but where! Less than half an hour passed before he himself was killed.

When the battle ended, the people gathered and began to ask the archer to take the entire state into his hands. He agreed to this and became a king, and his wife a queen.
(Afanasyev, vol. 2)

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About Fedot-Sagittarius, a daring fellow

Fairy tale for the theater (Based on Russian folklore)

Buffoon-amusement

Believe it or not, but Fedot the Sagittarius lived in this world, a daring fellow. Fedot was neither handsome nor ugly, neither ruddy, nor pale, neither rich nor poor, neither scabbed nor brocade, but just like that. Fedot's service includes fishing and hunting. To the Tsar - game and fish, to Fedot - thank you. Guests in the palace are like seeds in a cucumber. One is from Sweden, another from Greece, the third from Hawaii - and give everyone something to eat! One gets lobster, another gets squid, the third gets sardines, but there is only one earner! One day they give him an order: to appear at court at just light in the morning. The king looks like a morel, has a head as big as a fist, and there is an enormous amount of malice in him. He looks at Fedka like an ulcer man looks at a radish. Fedka's shirt got wet from fear, there was a pounding in his temples, a growling in his belly, and here, as they say, the beginning of a fairy tale...

Tsar

Come to us for morning pickle
The English ambassador arrived,
And in our house there are snacks -
Half a slice and a corn.

Get ready, brother, let's go
Bring us some food -
Capercaillie or partridge,
Al isho someone.

If you can't, who's to blame? –
I must execute you.
State business -
Are you catching the thread?..

Fedot

There's something I don't understand
In my mind?..
Tea, I slurp cabbage soup without bast shoes,
I'm figuring out what's what.

It turns out that it's on me
All politics in the country:
I won’t get a partridge -
There will certainly be war.

So that the English ambassador
I wasn’t angry from hunger -
I won't spare my head
I’ll provide the pickle!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king's word is harder than crackers. If he sends you to the bear, you will go to the bear, but where to go - you have to, Fedya! Or game and fish - or sword and rack. Fedot walked through a hundred forests, a hundred swamps, but all in vain - not a partridge, not a wood grouse! Tired, no urine, and it’s late at night. Even with an empty bag, it’s time to go home. Suddenly he sees a bird, a forest pigeon, sitting, not hiding, not afraid of a gun...

Fedot

This is misfortune, this is trouble,
There is no trace of game.
I'll shoot a pigeon
At least some kind of food!

But generally speaking,
Pigeons are scolded in vain.
Pigeon - if in gravy -
He is no worse than a wood grouse!..

Blueberry

You, Fedot, don’t touch me,
There is not a penny's benefit in this, -
And you can't fill the pan,
And you can't stuff the pillow.

Tea, overseas gentleman
Loves fresh galantine
What kind of meat is there in me?
So, no meat, just laughter!..

Fedot

Is the devil now zealous?
Is the air drunk now?
Maybe something happened in my ear?
What flaw do I have?

Either from the royal windows
Such a law was announced
For the birds to talk
In human language?..

Blueberry

Don’t commit robbery, Fedot,
And take me with you.
How will you bring me into the light
I will become your destiny.

I will sew, wash, cook,
Don’t reproach for insults,
And play the violin for you,
And kill the bugs for you!..

Fedot

What kind of parable is this - I don’t understand?..
Okay, get into my bag!..
There, on the spot, we'll figure it out,
Who's going where and what's what!

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot brought the little turtledove to his place, which means he went to the little mountain. He sits sadly, hanging his head. And there are serious reasons for the sadness. Our Fedot's hunt did not go well. But the tsar doesn’t like to joke - he’ll chop your head off right away. Fedot sits, sad, and says goodbye to the white light. I remembered about the bird, the forest pigeon. Lo and behold, in the middle of the hill, instead of that turtle dove, there stands a beautiful maiden, slender as a tree!..

Marusya

Hello, Fedya!.. You and me -
We are now one family.

I am your wife, Marusya,
I am your wife.

Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot,
How can you get water into your mouth?..
It’s not the same kokoshnik I’m wearing,
Is the outfit I’m wearing wrong?..

Fedot

To you, my soul,
A century would look without breathing,
Just to become your husband
There's no chance for me!..

I was there - just before dawn -
At a reception with the king,
Well, the king gave me a task
I mean, it means wood grouse.

Even though it’s not the season for game,
There is no reason to argue with the authorities:
Okay, I think I'll get it
Tea, capercaillie, not bison.

I walked all day
And good luck - at least a shadow:
Not a single serious bird
Everything is complete rubbish!..

And now, my dear friend,
No time for dancing on the meadow -
Tomorrow the king will take care of this matter
He'll chop my head off.

And I'm useless like that
Neither at work, nor at home,
Because my whole point
Exclusively in the mind!..

Marusya

Don't freak out and don't whine!
There will be a table and there will be game!
Well, stand in front of me,
Titus Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two strapping young men appear)

If you understand the order -
Do it now!

Well done

Don't hesitate,
Tea, this is not the first time!..

Buffoon-amusement

And the king and the ambassador are already sitting at the table. Nearby - look at that! - princess and nanny. And everyone is waiting for the promised food from Fedya. What's a conversation without a hearty lunch? And the table is empty: carrots and cabbage, dill and parsley - that’s the whole feast. The guest is bored, shakes his boots, examines the holes in the tablecloth. The Tsar is angry and does not notice how he calls Fedka after his mother. Suddenly, as if from heaven: a loaf of bread, a badey caviar, stewed turkey, sterlet fish soup, veal offal - and there are thousands of names for such food! With such food - how can there not be a conversation!..

Tsar

Causes antiresis
Your technical progress:
How do you sow rutabaga there?
With or without peel?..

Ambassador

Tsar

Causes antiresis
Your nutritional process:
How do they drink kakava there?
With or without saccharin?..

Ambassador

Tsar

Causes antiresis
And this is the cut:
How do your women walk there?
With or without trousers?

Ambassador

Nurse

I would have been embarrassed to even send an ambassador!..
Has his head completely weakened?..
No matter what they say -
Anything will lead to women!

(Based on Russian folklore)

Buffoon-amusement

Believe it or not, but Fedot the Sagittarius lived in this world, the daring
Well done. Fedot was neither handsome nor ugly, neither rosy, nor pale, nor rich, nor
poor, neither in scab, nor in brocade, but in general. Service with Fedot - fishing yes
hunting. To the Tsar - game and fish, to Fedot - thank you. Guests in the palace - how
seeds in cucumber. One from Sweden, another from Greece, the third from Hawaii - and everyone
Give me some food! One - lobster, another - squid, the third - sardines, and
one earner! One day they give him an order: to appear at the
yard The Tsar looks like a morel, has a head as big as a fist, but the malice in him is enormous
volume. He looks at Fedka like an ulcer man looks at a radish. On Fedka from fear
the shirt got wet, there was a pounding in the temples, a growling in the belly, here, as they say, and
the beginning of a fairy tale...

Come to us for morning pickle
The English ambassador arrived,
And in our house there are snacks -
Half a slice and a corn.

Get ready, brother, let's go
Bring us some food...
Capercaillie or partridge,
Al isho someone.

If you can't, who's to blame? --
I must execute you.
State business --
Are you catching the thread?..

There's something I don't understand
In my mind?..
Tea, I slurp cabbage soup without bast shoes,
I'm figuring out what's what.

It turns out that it's on me
All politics in the country:
I won't get a partridge...
There will certainly be war.

So that the English ambassador
I wasn't angry from hunger...
I won't spare my head
I’ll provide the pickle!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king's word is harder than crackers. If you send him to the bear, you will go to the bear, but
where to go - we have to, Fedya! Or game and fish - or sword and rack. Overtook Fedot
a hundred forests, a hundred swamps, but all in vain - not a partridge, not a wood grouse! Tired, no
urine, and by nightfall. Even with an empty bag, it’s time to go home. Suddenly he sees -
a bird, a forest pigeon, sitting, not hiding, not afraid of a gun...

This is misfortune, this is trouble,
There is no trace of game.
I'll shoot a pigeon
At least some kind of food!

But generally speaking,
Pigeons are scolded in vain.
Pigeon - if in gravy -
He is no worse than a wood grouse!..

Blueberry

You, Fedot, don’t touch me,
There's not a penny's benefit in this,--
And you can't fill the pan,
And you can't stuff the pillow.

Tea, overseas gentleman
Loves fresh galantine
What kind of meat is there in me?
So, no meat, just laughter!..

Is the devil now zealous?
Is the air drunk now?
Maybe something happened in my ear?
What flaw do I have?

Either from the royal windows
Such a law was announced
For the birds to talk
In human language?..

Blueberry

Don’t commit robbery, Fedot,
And take me with you.
How will you bring me into the light
I will become your destiny.

I will sew, wash, cook,
Don’t reproach for insults,
And play the violin for you,
And kill the bugs for you!..

What kind of parable is this - I don’t understand?..
Okay, get into my bag!..
There, on the spot, we'll figure it out,
Who's going where and what's what!

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot brought the little turtledove to his place, which means he went to the little mountain. Sits sadly
hung his head. And there are serious reasons for the sadness. The hunt didn't go well
from our Fedot. But the tsar doesn’t like to joke - he’ll chop your head off in no time. Fedot is sitting,
sad, says goodbye to the white light. I remembered about the bird, the forest pigeon.
Lo and behold, in the middle of the hill, instead of that turtle dove, there stands a beautiful, slender maiden,
like a tree!..

Hello, Fedya!.. You and I -
We are now one family.

I am your wife, Marusya,
I am your wife.

Why are you silent, dear friend Fedot,
How can you get water into your mouth?..
It’s not the same kokoshnik I’m wearing,
Is the outfit I’m wearing wrong?..

To you, my soul,
A century would look without breathing,
Just to become your husband
There's no chance for me!..

I was there - just before dawn -
At a reception with the king,
Well, the king gave me a task
I mean, it means wood grouse.

Even though it's not the season for game...
There is no reason to argue with the authorities:
Okay, I think I'll get it
Tea, capercaillie, not bison.

I walked all day
And good luck - at least a shadow:
Not a single serious bird
Everything is complete rubbish!..

And now, my dear friend,
No time for dancing on the meadow -
Tomorrow the king will take care of this matter
He'll chop my head off.

And I'm useless like that
Neither at work, nor at home,
Because my whole point
Exclusively in the mind!..

Don't freak out and don't whine!
There will be a table and there will be game!
Well, stand in front of me,
Titus Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two strapping young men appear)

If you understand the order -
Do it now!

Well done

Don't hesitate,
Tea, this is not the first time!..

Buffoon-amusement

And the king and the ambassador are already sitting at the table. Nearby - look at that! -- princess
yes nanny. And everyone is waiting for the promised food from Fedya. What's a conversation without something satisfying?
lunch? And the table is empty: carrots and cabbage, dill and parsley - that’s all
feast. The guest is bored, shakes his boots, examines the holes in the tablecloth. Tsar
he’s angry and doesn’t notice how he calls Fedka after his mother. Suddenly, as if from heaven:
loaf of bread, badeyka caviar, stewed turkey, sterlet ear, veal offal
- and there are thousands of names for such food! With such food - how not to be
conversation!..

Causes antiresis
Your technical progress:
How do you sow rutabaga there?
With or without peel?..

Tsar
Causes antiresis
Your nutritional process:
How do you drink kakava there?
With or without saccharin?..

Causes antiresis
And this is the cut:
How do your women walk there?
With or without trousers?

I would have been embarrassed to even send an ambassador!..
Has his head completely weakened?..
No matter what they say...
Anything will lead to women!

Are you playing your tune again?
I'll go to jail, keep that in mind!
I'm not just babbling,
I'm conducting politics!

The Avon girl has grown up,
And then, like half an oar!
So I’m thinking about how to give it away
Our steal for the ambassador!

Just need some benefit
Attract him without making him angry...
Make subtle hints
Unsurprisingly and from afar.

Yes for this ambassador
Even I wouldn't go...
So he glares, the bastard,
What to clean off the table!

He's all "Yes" and "Yes" to you,
Meanwhile, he eats and eats everything.
Turn away - he's half the race
Swallow it in one sitting!

Ali sew your mouth shut,
I'll kick Ali out!
You've already given me away
All overseas attaches!

Once upon a time there was a Spanish grandee,
What a dandy, what a dandy!
There's a diamond in each ear...
Why isn't that an option for you?

You set it up so that the guest
I accidentally sat on a nail,
And I left the guest -
Political anger!..

Why, I remember!.. This grand
Was to devour great talent:
He got his head into the plate,
The bow was already stained with grease!

Why don't you ask the grandee...
He's like a butt - "si" and "si"
Well, everything comes together
On to the herring!

I'm behind your line
I'll rot you to the core!
I'm not joking with you
I'm serious!

From Germany Baron
He was good from all sides
I couldn’t resist even here...
Damaged him.

Who's at the bottom of the bucket?
Threw a dead mouse?
You're a total pest,
Damned soul!..

Yes, this is your baron
The crack was pretty good!
Throw him into the flock of crows -
He will take it from the crows too.

Proud in appearance - “ya-a” and “ya-a”
And gluttonous like a pig,
Give him straw, he will eat the straw,
Tea, someone else’s, not our own!..

Well, little spy, give me some time...
I'll throw you in prison!
Well, I'm not an angry guy,
But he is strict with pests.

So answer me - don’t waste words!
Where can a princess get a husband?
Tea, you fool, you see -
She has no army of suitors!

If only a regiment were crowded here -
There would be some point in bickering,
Well, no - grab anyone,
Even if he were a Bryansk wolf!..

Princess

If you are in power in the race,
So, rule the race to your heart’s content,
Don't meddle in my destiny
And don’t interfere with my love!

In the house of the entih attache
A hundred pieces per floor,
I need their cologne
I can’t breathe anymore!..

If love is truly evil,
You'll love the ambassador too.
And at the same time you will correct me
And trade matters.

I'm under this antires
I'll melt hemp and wood for them,
All honesty agrees,
Only you are going against it!..

Princess

No matter how much you frown -
I repeat again and again:
The individual has the right
For free love!

Maybe it's finally done
And it would come to the rings, -
If only he suddenly wooed me
Your Fedotushko the Sagittarius!..

Tsk, you fool!.. Shut up!..
Test place by the oven!
Come on, go to your room
And learn solfege!

And the damned archer,
Insolent and scoundrel,
I'm using whips and batogs
I’ll run away from the palace right away!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king had a general who was collecting information. He will hide his face in his beard - and
walk around the city. Sniffs, a dog, thinking differently. Eavesdrops
talkers: what if there are conspirators in the country? Where he hears the FAQ - in a book
will write it down. And at seven exactly - to the Tsar for a report.

Why are you sad, General?
Ali fell ill with measles,
Ali got drunk on his mash,
Did Ali lose at cards?

Ali service is not nice,
Ali's army is small,
Ali found in the cannon
Barrel damage?

Report without any lies,
Why is there darkness in my heart,--
I would like to know in detail
Who, where, FAQ and how!..

General

I was with the archer a while ago,
At Fedot the daredevil,
When I saw his wife -
So he jumped off the porch.

The third day - I'm not lying to her! --
I don’t take the saber in my hands,
And such dreaminess
Look, I'll die!

And the other day there was a sin -
I almost made up a poem,
The doctors got scared
They say: love shock!..

The archer passed me!..
But he knew that I was a widower!
Well, I'll steal the ent in a moment
Deliver me to the palace!

And the insidious archer
Wipe it off your face this very moment,
So that he doesn't wipe himself off
Near our porch!..

General

Snatching her is not difficult,
Yes, the people are painfully cool:
How will they find out whose idea it is...
They'll grind you into powder!

The people have become daring now,
Don't put your finger in their mouth...
We do not favor Fedot,
But the people are the opposite!

You are such a fool
On Saturdays or what?
I owe something to the minister
Should I explain such a trifle?

To say something bad about the king
People didn't talk in vain,
Act strictly according to the law
That is, act... quietly.

Well, I’m already here...
I will reward you for your work:
The blacksmiths were given a task -
The order will be forged by tomorrow!..

Buffoon-amusement

The general spent the whole day gathering his wits. I thought about everything in the sweat of my brow - how
get rid of the archer. Yes, the thoughts in my head turned sour from tension. Remembered on
leisure time about an old friend, Baba Yaga the Bone Leg. I'll go see her, she
smarter!.. And that middle of the oak grove collects herbs, cooks all sorts of poisons. How
I saw the general - I lost all the herbariums. I missed you in the wilderness without
soul mate!..

Baba Yaga

You chavoy are not yourself,
Not rosy, not alive!..
Ali is a Swede near St. Petersburg,
Is he a Turk near Moscow?..

Eat aspen bark...
And you will cheer up for the time being:
Tea, not some kind of chemistry,
Tea, natural gifts!

In her juice, general,
There is a useful mineral -
From him from the generals
Not one died!..

General

That's enough, grandma!.. I'm not sick!..
Let's go over the hill!..
Make the hedgehogs and squirrels laugh,
There is a serious conversation.

Here we have one archer -
Extremely literate, bastard!..
So I got a task
Completely destroy him!

But how? Cut off the head -
Then the rumor will begin to sound!..
Can you give me some advice?
What is the smartest way to ruin him?..

Baba Yaga

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,

Give me the answer about Sagittarius!

Since he is so zealous and quick,
What enters into an argument with the king, -
Let him get it by tomorrow
Gold embroidered carpet.

So that it is visible on it,
Like on a map, the whole country.
Well, if he doesn’t get it, -
That's a wine getter!..

General

Hey grandma! Oh yes special!
That's the end of the trouble!
At least take you out of the mortar -
Yes, the minister to the palace!

None of the Germans are at odds,
How far is it from trouble?
And with you I'm ready
Whether for reconnaissance or wherever!

I pay for good with good:
You want - a marten, you want - a beaver,
If you don't want it, I can use a coin,
Gold or silver!..

Baba Yaga

Enough, dove, don’t sin,
Take away your pennies,--
I'm not in it for the money,
I do this for the soul.

There will be a new problem -
Hurry straight here.
Tea, and we are not animals in the forest,
Tea, we will always help!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king is calling the archer, a daring young man. Isho didn’t give the task, and he’s already angry
in advance. He twists his hands, knocks his feet, rotates his eyes, in general, intimidates. Already
He’s so eager to make Fedot suffer that it hurts his bones!..

Get a carpet by morning...
Gold embroidered pattern!..
State business -
Hurt yourself, but be kind!

So that it is visible on it,
Like on the map, the whole country,
Because I'm from the balcony
No fucking review!

You won’t find it, I want it frequently,--
I'll shorten it to the head,
I'll hand you over at dawn
Straight into the clutches of the executioner!

Amusement

Fedot came home, dumb from grief. Sat in the corner, looking at the ceiling,
clear eyes covered with tears. Manya calls for food, but he shakes his neck, doesn’t want anything,
sulks and whines...

Are you often angry like a hedgehog?
Do you often neither eat nor drink?
Ali's porridge is burnt,
Is the jelly bad?

What kind of food is there!
The king is angry - it’s a real disaster!
No to this villain
No council, no court!

Get, screams, carpet,
Gold embroidered pattern
The width of the entire Race,
A hundred forests and a hundred lakes!..

Don't freak out and don't whine!
Let the old bastard be angry!
Well, stand in front of me,
Tit Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!..

If you understand the order -
Do it now!

Well done

Don't hesitate,
Tea, it's not the first time!

Buffoon-amusement

The next morning Fedot is at the Tsar's gate. I came to the reception and received the carpet. Costs
smiles, the guards are not afraid. The king was surprised and even choked on caviar. His anger
sharpens, but doesn’t want to show it. He looks like he's happy!..

Yesterday you asked for a carpet...
Well, I pinned him down.
Everything is according to the agreement...
Both the drawing and the color.

All Raseyushka in full
Reflected on the carpet.
This carpet is a gift for you
My wife wove it!..

Oh wow! Oh, snap it!
How many people are you married to?
Ali you got married right away
Whole weaving mill?

You, Fedot, have a wife
Even though she’s smart, she’s still alone!
And to weave something like this overnight...
Their division is needed!..

Isn't the carpet pleasing to the eye?
Is the pattern in the carpet wrong?
Well, I'll put it under his arm...
And the conversation is over!

So that your labors are not wasted,
I will sell it to merchants,
And let him leave Russia
Sails to Amsterdam!..

I would like to beat you with whips,
Four or five
So that you don't get rid of yourself
Over serious people!

But since I'm calm
I honor order and law, -
Here's a nickel for vodka
And he got out of here!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king is calling the general, a pin in his visor! The king's face looks like a beet,
and when it's red, it's dangerous. The infection hits no more than once, but
misses the eye. The general tested this for himself: he has been walking since the beginning of the fairy tale.
in a bandage!..

Well, bro, what's the result?
Are you a little confused?
Only this one will pull a little
About five years!

You are broad in our shoulders,
And my head completely withered away.
Here's how you can fix your mind
At state-owned grub!..

General

Throw me in prison
For any period of time -
All this is science
It won't do any good for me, the fool!

I would like a saber and a horse -
Yes to the line of fire!
And palace intrigues -
It's not all about me!

You tell me, your honor,
Stop the heat and flog it!
You figure out how to do it without a saber
We must defeat Fedot!

Well, you'll be a fool...
Do not look for guilt in anyone:
I'll clean your snout
Personally with this fist!..

Buffoon-amusement

It was in vain that the general rubbed his hands: the raid failed to kill Fedot. Again at
poor guy's head is tense. And in my head - listen! - well, at least there’s a thought!
I thought and thought, but I couldn’t think of anything. No matter how you look at it, you can’t do without Yaga!
I went back into the oak grove to look for justice against Fedka!..

Baba Yaga

Are you gloomy again?
What is the reason, who is to blame?
Al the Spanish races,
Al the Frenchman went to war?

This is jelly made from mold!
Have you tried tea yet?
Just drink it and you’ll immediately forget
About the worldly carousel!

It doesn't taste that good
But it takes away the trembling,
You'll be healthy by tomorrow
Unless you die!..

General

I'm talking about Sagittarius again!
There is no end to my troubles!
That's why I'm sick
That's why I fell off my face.

What a scoundrel, cunning...
He wiped everyone's noses!
No matter how much you conjure here,
And he got that carpet!

Even though he looks like a simpleton,
And the head is a master at cooking,
So from now on, cast your magic more seriously,
With feeling, so please!

Baba Yaga

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
Give me the answer about Sagittarius!

So!.. Hey!.. Uh-huh!.. Aha!..
This is what Yaga found out:
Let him find you a deer,
So that horns are made of gold!..

Search the whole wide world...
There are no such things in nature!
This is me for you, my dear,
I speak as a local historian!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king is calling the archer, a daring young man. Our Fedot didn’t have time to wipe it off his face
sweat, and the villain king has a new idea. The Tsar is seething with ideas, and Fedka is sweating! IN
Why, Fedka’s life is worse than a bitter radish!..

Come on, throw off the blues and laziness
And - on the road this very day!
State business --
I desperately need a deer!

If you are the king's servant -
Go beyond the mountains, beyond the meadows
And find me a deer there,
So that the horns are made of gold.

Don't talk and don't argue,
And go and provide
Otherwise you’ll find out the moment
How your head falls off your shoulders!..

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot came home, his snot was fringed! He sat down in front of the splinter in an embrace with
steep. His beautiful wife throws herself on her neck, but he doesn’t even touch his wife!
He sits and cries—that means he’s grieving!..

Are you looking like an owl?
What are you fussing about?
There's not enough salt in the hodgepodge,
Is the steak under-seasoned?

What a lunch!
The king tortured me - I won’t save you!
I'll have to again in the morning
To answer to him!

This king is a fierce enemy -
Sends me on the run again:
Find, shouts, a deer,
So that horns are made of gold!..

Don't freak out and don't whine!
There are sorrows and more!
Well, stand in front of me,
Titus Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two strapping young men appear.)

If you understand the order -
Do it now!

Well done

Don't hesitate...
Tea, this is not the first time!..

Buffoon-amusement

It's just light Fedot - at the Tsar's gate. I came to the reception, and the deer was there. U
The king was stabbed on the left side from anger. I would crush the nit, but I don’t show it. Is sitting,
yawns - hides anger!..

Have you been waiting for tea? Good afternoon
Look out the window when you're not lazy!
You ordered a deer...
Well, here's a deer for you!

And - note! - horns on it
So they breathe fire,
From him without any lamp
At night it is as bright as day!..

Those deer - don't lie! --
None in Tula or Tver.
What's in Tver - in Baghdad itself
There are at most three of them!

Now think about it, soldier...
Where is Moscow and where is Baghdad!
Ali, you got away overnight
To Baghdad and back?..

Come on, you are a vigorous louse!
And the deer is not good for you?
And yesterday I tore my soul:
Take out the deer and put it down!..

If you are already rich...
I will return him to Baghdad.
Who's in power there? --
The guy will be happy!..

Fedka, give it to me
Or you will be separated from your head!
I see your hints
Exclusively through and through!

Oh well, for the prestige
Can't you forgive the devil!
Here's a nickel for vodka
And go wherever you want!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king calls the general - right from under the blanket. The general is in a panic
looking for underpants, he understands that they are not calling for gingerbread! The king sits on the throne - on
the whole world is angry. Black with anger, like a raven in a churchyard!..

No matter how hard you fought, my dear, -
Fedot didn’t get caught in the snare!
Already written about you
Fictional obituary.

You just need to decide
How can you decide better:
Stun with a candelabra
Should I suffocate with a pillow?..

General

I made a mistake, sir!
Here's a saber, if you want, hit it!
Only more so Fedot
My brains are not turpentine!

What a fool - don't blame me!
I have a different essence!
I would like to attack somewhere.
Al go for an assault somewhere!..

You are with a fighting sword,
Just remember this FAQ:
Fedot must be defeated
Not with a sword, but with your head!

Well, you will be just as fast,
How have you been until now...
I love you, cow face,
I’ll put it under the ax myself!..

Buffoon-amusement

Our fool strained his mind again. And there was that mind - small bins.
I thought and thought, but I couldn’t think of anything. He whistled for a horde of dogs - and to Yaga in the oak grove.
She saw the general and jumped all the way to the Urals. Yes, she came to her senses and returned: how
It couldn't have turned out worse!..

Baba Yaga

You chavoy are out of your mind!
There's a pimple on my lip!
Oh, you'll waste your health
In the political struggle!..

Try hare droppings!
He is vigorous! He'll get it!
And where honey is more healing,
Although it doesn't taste like honey.

Although it tastes cool,
And sometimes they die from it,
But which ones survive -
They live to old age!..

General

Grandma, don't mess with me!
Find ways!
Think of it like Fedot
Bring it to the grave!

No matter how hard you fought, Yaga,
But it didn’t work out at all!
Fedot got hold of a deer -
Precious horns!

Blow your head off
Yes, work your magic more carefully.
Our Sagittarius, as it turned out,
Don't be so crazy!..

Baba Yaga

Actually I'm cunning
In the sense of the meanness of the gut,
Yes, chavoy for me today
No magic in the morning!..

Everything stings and hurts,
And my chest is burning with fire!..
I have long suspected
I have encephalitis!..

Oh, chavoy, I feel bad!
Do you hear the crunch in your back?
In a word, since this is the case -
I'm actually on the bulletin!

General

If you get sick - no problem!
Eat the frog from the pond!
There is no more reliable medicine
Than the natural environment!

You're fooling me
We couldn't even think!
It's better to connect everything
Get to work!

And if you get into trouble -
I'll take the saber out of the scabbard!
Even though you are my friend,
And there must be order!..

Baba Yaga

Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather,
Three on the side - yours are not there,
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin,
Give me the answer about Sagittarius!

Let Fedot show agility,
May he be able to get you
That-FAQ-In-the-White-Light --
Actually-Cannot-Be!

Well, Fedot, now hold on!
The point is right, it seems!
This is exactly the task
You won't do it for the life of you!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king is calling the archer, a daring young man. Again an order from the state
meanings. When will this torment end! Meanwhile, a fairy tale is far from
interchange!..

Find out how to get me some
That-FAQ-Cannot-Be!
Write down your name
So as not to forget in a hurry!

If you don't complete it by morning...
I'll grind you into powder,
Because your karachter
I haven't felt like it for a long time!

So there’s no point in pouting your lips,
Let's get on the road soon!
State business --
Are you getting the point?

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot came home - worse than death itself! White as chalk, his face was numb.
I sat down by the window - there was a veil in my eyes. Manya rushed, but he paid zero attention!..
You will be sad if death is behind you!..

Well, pour out your soul to me,
Are you so damn angry?
Al in Milanese salad
Not enough truffles?..

I'm yours, Marus, menu
I really appreciate it
Only my life, Marusya,
Ruined in the bud!

What should I do? What do i do?..
How can I get rid of my trouble?
The king ordered me to deliver
That-FAQ-Cannot-Be!..

Don't be sad and don't whine!
All you have to do is shout!
Well, stand in front of me,
Titus Kuzmich and Frol Fomich!

(Marusya claps her hands - two strapping young men appear.)

If you understand the order -
Do it now!

Well done

We apologize, mistress,
This is not about us!

If only there was a diagram or a drawing -
We would start a spin,
Well, look as much as you want,
You'll find the bald devil!

Where to look and how to get it
That-FAQ-Cannot-Be?
After all, he’s not in the world,
No matter how much you dig the ground!..

Don’t blame me, dear friend Fedot,
My income is not great!
Know that it’s your destiny, my love,
Go hiking yourself!

Don't fornicate abroad
Keep yourself clean.
Don't interfere in conversations
And don’t make acquaintances!

Avoid empty troubles
Avoid crooked roads
Think more about health
Eat sour cream and cottage cheese!..

You, Marus, don’t be afraid!
It will form, Marus!
I will fulfill the royal task -
And I’ll return safe!

Don't be sad without me!
Water your ficus more often!
If you want, play the balalaika,
Embroider on a hoop if you like!

Well, he’ll poke around like this,
Who will disturb your peace -
I don't need to teach you:
Frying pan at hand!..

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot left for an overseas campaign. The general found out about it - the last mind
lost. Our cunning man runs to the king’s palace to report that the archer is finished.
I already drilled a hole for the order, you fat mug!..

Is the news good or bad?
Report everything to me as it is!
Better bitter, but true
What a pleasant thing, but flattery!

Only if enta knows
It will happen again - God knows,
You are for such truth
You can sit down for ten years!..

General

I report: it’s just dawn
Fedka raised the anchors!
Thank God we got rid of it
From him, from the ghoul!

Come on, nanny, come here,
Get to work -
Tear hair from crown
Those who are gray-haired.

And which ones are not gray-haired,
Comb them into rows.
Yes, take it easy with a comb,
I don’t have gardens there!..

Why scratch it, old devil?
If he bakes a bald spot?!
You have a lot of hair here
We need to register!..

And why do you need it
At this age, wife?
After all, you, as a man,
I'm sorry, it's worthless!..

Even though I have no hair,
And I have to get married!
The Shah of Persia is also bald,
And he has forty wives!

I just want one
Get yourself a wife!
Something I mean in an intimate sense
And I can’t handle one?..

Apparently the Shah has
There is both strength and becoming,
And you, you dead cricket,
You can't see under the crown!

At your age
The strength is still not the same!
Would you take care of your health?
After all, you are over a hundred!..

What importance - more than a hundred!
If only the blood was thick!
They say you are submissive to love
Everyone is literally of age!

So, nanny, like it or not,
And I’m good for business!
If everyone is submissive to love,
So I am submissive too!..

You, my friend, are one of those husbands,
What is more harmless than snakes:
They scratch, but don't bite,
I wouldn't say it's the worst!

To steal someone else's woman,
You must have ardor and passion!
And your task now is...
Don't go to the cemetery!..

Tsar (to the General)

Well, why are you silent?
Are you strumming medals?
Al, don’t you see how dirty they are?
State prestige?

The nanny bends me into an arc,
And the minister - no guta!
You are our defense
So, fight back the enemy!..

General

Well, these are women's courts
There are always bad things about men!
Don't doubt yourself,
You are a lover anywhere!

Proud profile, firm step,
From behind - it's a clear check!
Just move the crown to one side
So that it doesn’t hang on your ears!..

Tsar (Nanny)

The minister is not my enemy,
I said everything as it is without lying,
But he is not a stupid man,
Don't look like he's a fool.

You are nothing but bedlam,
Shame on the king, embarrassment on the ambassadors!
I have been anti-resisting for a long time,
Aren't you sent to us?..

Don't spy and don't harm,
If you dare, look:
We're having a conversation with you
There will be a big one ahead!..

Buffoon-amusement

The king is going to Mana to pay attention. He sits in the carriage himself, wearing decolon
stinks, behind the king's retinue is powdered, curled, behind the retinue is a chest - kozinaki and
hazelnut. Everything is honorable - the king is going to his bride!..

By order of the king
Fedka has left for the seas!
In general, I left him
Melted, to put it simply!

So as not to be poor alone, -
Become my wife!
What about the FAQ?.. I'm a distinguished man
And groovy affection!..

Isho Fedot didn’t have time
Take a step from the gate,
And the crows have already flown
To Fedotov's garden!..

Don't be a fool to me, girl!
They offer - take it!
Tea, not for you every evening
Widow kings are walking!..

This very hour, I say,
Get ready for the altar!
Crazy with delight
Take a sniff of ammonia!

You are better, sir,
Hit others!
My concern is to wait for Fedot
Yes, look at the calendar!

Come on, girl, the rumors are lies!
Waiting for Sagittarius is a waste of time.
He's in some Hong Kong
Eating some fruit mushroom!

You yourself, fool, weigh yourself:
He is there, and you are here!
There is no now Fedot,
Fedot was there, but he all came out!

Even if you beat me with a whip,
Even cut me with a sword, -
All the same as your wife
I won't give a damn!

You, Marus, don’t make me angry
And the conflict with me did not last long!
I'm leaving for Paris the other day
The guillotine has arrived!

In light of what I said...
Better be my wife!
I have nerves too,
I'm not made of steel either!

Go away, hateful one, away
And I don’t mind being a husband!
If you don't leave, I can
Help with a frying pan!

Well, those at the door...
Get her into shackles quickly!
What kind of fashion is this...
Frying pans into kings!

You'll get hurt in prison...
And you will get better in your mind!
No matter how much you, girl, don’t hesitate,
Let's get married by winter!..

Catch me, you idiot
It takes a lot of work!
Goodbye, my sieve friend,
Maybe we'll meet someday!..

(Marusya turns into a dove and flies away.)

Buffoon-amusement

Fedot swam for almost a year. I ate halva, ate persimmons, but kept my own
mind! Miracles in the world are like flies in a toilet, but the necessary miracle is not yet in sight.
Fedot is worried - time is ticking! I decided without hysteria - I’ll go to America!
Fedot floats among the endless waters, the sunset is ahead, the sunrise is behind. All of a sudden
In the middle of the hike the weather turned bad. There was no misfortune - and on you, hello,
the ship is crap! - and fell into pieces!.. The thunderstorm subsided - Fedot opened
eyes: lying on the wave, completely unharmed. He sees an island sticking out like
float. I got to the shore and thought - America. He took out the card, checked it...
no, not America! Buyan Island, damn it, maybe there’s some flaw in the map?!
Fedot sits, hiccups, and takes in the situation...

How much at the whim of the king
I haven't sailed overseas...
I've never seen a lousier place
Frankly speaking!

What a melancholy island! --
All stone and sand.
And as long as the eye can see -
No river, no forest!

It wouldn't be a problem,
If only there was food here...
If there were quinoa here,
If only quinoa would do!..

Who is hungry for food -
Let him come here:
I have plenty of food
I have her pounds!

For example, get
Rolls straight from the oven,
Here's a turkey roast
Here's a cherry plum compote!

Here are the sausages, here are the cheeses,
Here's half a centner of caviar,
Here are the Caribbean lobsters,
Here are the Don sturgeons!..

(Tables with food appear.)

Do me the honor, master,
Show yourself what you are!
Somehow indecent for a guest
Drink and eat alone!

Tea, on your island
It's more fun to be bored together -
Where will we scatter the cards?
Let's pour a glass somewhere!..

I would be glad to have my portrait
It’s a secret for me too!
Sometimes I wonder myself
Either I exist or I don’t!..

I have countless worries:
There is food, but nothing to eat,
There is tobacco, but nothing to sniff,
There is a bench, but nothing to sit on!

So tired for a thousand years,
What is not the joy of white light!
I thought I was going to hang myself...
Again, there is no neck!

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